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مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : DARK NANO - PROLOGUE + CHAPTER 1



Ano Kata
29-9-2009, 11:08 PM
this is my first novel i wrote
i'll start with the Prologue


:::...:::::::::::::::::::::...:::
...::: DARK NANO :::...
:::.. khaled khunaifer...:::
...:::......................:::...



From the beginning of the time things have a verse and inverse, since qabeel killed
his brother habeel ...


"Are blind and non-blind equal .. or darkness and lights" -Holy Quraan
Light and dark, earth and heaven, good and evil, ally and foe, yes and no, correct
and wrong, white and black ...


Power is a pole held from the middle by the holder, the pole is double-edge
that has a good edge and an evil edge, its edges might be as hard as steel, as
fine as blade, or measured as a ruler ...


Power seem a good thing to gain and use, but most don't know that power has its price!


Sciences opened a new door of knowldge to a new science, what we call the nano technology,
to most nano is nothing more than a measurement ...


Others think that nano technology can't do what nuclear powers done to the world, yet
they only have seen the good part of the nano technology ...


Yet, it's too early to decide anything ...


__________________________________________________ _____________________________



...:::.................:::...
:::... DARK NANO ...:::
...:::.................:::...
...:::.................:::...
:::... CHAPTER I ...:::
...::: NEW LIFE :::...
:::...:::::::::::::...:::


:::... A NEW DAY


Just woke up .. looking around in ache to realize being on an infamous beach, yet he can't even remember his
own name! With his foggy sight he managed to discover the sorroundings with his eyes, nothing but a crashed ship.


A thought came to his mind "Was I onboard that ship ?!", as many questions that had no answer!
Too weak to stand up as he lied his beaten body on the ground, looking at the sun.


And suddenly he heard a sound, it was a young girl's voice repeating "who is there ? are you ok ?!".
He gathered all his strength to stand, he smiled ignoring all the misery.
She lend him a hand of help, he rested his back on a giant rock.


He wanted to ask her many questions, but he just stayed silent watching her and looking at her eyes
that seemed similar to something he still can't recall.


She said "I'm annie, what's your name ?" .. "umm I don't know" he replied. Her eye-brows raised wondering
as she said "how come you don't know your own name ?!!" .. "I just can't remember who am I" he replied!
She thought about it a moment then said "I live at the town with my grandparents, she'll take care of
you, that's for sure!".

...

the rest has been deleted because the novel is going to be published offically

the novel will be published later, and it will contain 10 chapters

Shion
30-9-2009, 06:17 AM
Peace be upon you brother Ano,

First of all, I'm happy to be your first reader to leave you a post here.

What you left us here is such a great attempt of exploring the world of novels. It's nice to see a few serious people writing in English.

If you allow me to share some point with you over what you wrote earlier:

01- You have a really good start and prologue in there. setting the scene where the main character is dumbed somewhere with a memory loss.

02- Annie, Annie' grandparents and the village. You seem to give us a very short intro to the village and shift us quickly to the city.

03- Kamal and Ajaml... Well Arabic names mixed with westerns.. Hmm.. Where is this city. Can't wait till I figure out in your upcoming chapters :-). Also you aroused in my head a question, Do they know who Khaled is? What I understood from the scene where everyone was silent that they knew one and another!

04- Your writing style is pretty good! Well done. However, I have a small comment on your use of the structure (as....., as....). You used it pretty a lot. But in most cases it doesn't fit quite right.

[ As Ahmed got into his room, he remembered that he left his cell phone in the car].
You use (As) with compound sentences where you have two actions; one happened nearly at the same time of the first one.

Otherwise, you are pretty good.

waiting for your great chapters.

Shion

Ano Kata
30-9-2009, 08:25 AM
thanks for the notes

glad you liked it

and there will be updates