ÇáãÓÇÚÏ ÇáÔÎÕí ÇáÑÞãí

ãÔÇåÏÉ ÇáäÓÎÉ ßÇãáÉ : A Black Dot in the Ocean



ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
30-9-2010, 08:57 PM
http://img203.imageshack.us/img203/8167/blackdot.jpg



A Black Dot in the Ocean








I'm the source of evilness…I'm the source of purification.




I light their way…I deepen the darkness within.



I am the usher to hell…in my heart lies signs that leads to Heaven.



I transformed into an angel…I continue my struggle to live.



I was born in Eden…I only have memories when I came on earth.



My eyes are capable to see the invisible…I can barely see everything.



My tear in the eyes of humans is like water that plants the ground where it drops…my tear in my eyes is like blood that stains the ground where it falls.



My foot walks on a road filled with roses…my other foot tramples on dead bodies.



My presence raises their ravenous appetite for a sacrifice…



My existence alone builds a generation…



I live insulated in a world filled with devils…devils with pure hearts…



Inside the forbidden house for priestess…locked in a room painted with darkness on each of its walls.



The surrounding corners were dominated with sounds of grief and sadness…



Voices of the dead…heard only by those who bear the same fate



The fate of a black dot…



He came.



In a moonless night, outside the holy house, I waited for my destiny to arrive.



However, he reached me before it…



“They said if you don’t want, they won’t force you to do it!” he claimed.



And continued on, “Speak! Tell them what your heart desires!”…



“But my heart doesn’t belong to me…” I proclaimed.



“What are you saying?” he questioned.



“This isn’t the time for this. Don’t you want to do what you like?”



“Not all what I want is the right thing to do!” I replied.



“What do you mean? Haven’t you asked for help couple of minutes ago?



All you have to do is either cry or speak.”



“I am the Chosen!



I can have what I need without the need to ask for it…



I can’t cry. I can’t shed tears over worldly pleasures.



I can’t speak. My words are unheard by merely human beings.”



“Are you serious?



Yesterday, you were dying to live and today, you’re throwing your life.



That’s strange…



Have they bought your mind?”



“The Chosen has nothing to fear of…I have nothing to lose.”



“Is this you? Or have you given yourself to the imaginary holy creature they’re talking about?”



“The real me has died…I no longer exist…



My words...words when I was a human being, meaningless words…”



“Are you throwing away your life?



Do you wish to continue on living as the Chosen?”



Words didn’t come…What I wished for was a life.



The one who gave it to me, is now asking for it…



It became so precious that I refused to give it back…not by the hands of creatures.



My life…



I don’t want to give it to anyone…





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In order to be happy…choosing to exchange someone’s life?…

My life…

A priceless life I refused to give up…

But it was too late to figure out how intensely I needed it once it was sold.

The unknown has invaded the known…again…




In a moonless night, on a land not so far from the ocean, children assembled first.

I was still a child as small and innocent as any of them.

The night waspitchblack. We could barely see anything.

Although fear should’ve sat on most of us, yet we seemed calm waiting for her,

The Chosen…

We believed strongly in the depth of our hearts about the thoughts written in the Holy Book.

“The Chosen will light the way to Heaven.”

We wanted to see Heaven…

“She will shine so brightly upon each and every soul trapped in this life.”

My soul wanted to be shone…

“She’ll purify us...

The Sinners…”

“I am a sinner”. I was born in this life.

And I wished to be purified…



toue rei zue kura ryou toue zue
kuroa ryou zue toue ryou rei neu ryou zue
va rei zue toue neu toue ryou toue kuroa
ryou rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va zue rei
va neu va rei va neu va zue rei
kuroa ryuo kuroa neu toue rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va
rei va neu kuroa toue rei rei



We sang...the place filled with the holy voices of little angels.

Calming the Chosen on her way to Heaven…

The men shoved their way into the first row.

Women followed up later taking place between us and their relatives.



Not very far, we saw a vision of some people coming toward us.

We knew the Chosen was among them and so sang again.



The ritual began.

The Chosen disengaged herself from the crowd of men and came forward.

Her eyes were blindfold, wearing clothes as whitish as the light.

She began walking slowly…so slow that one of her foot was resisting from advancing forward

and the other refused to race its twin.

It was pointless for Chosen to walk so quickly on that road.

The one to lead the way was a man bound with a black thread on his wrist connected to the Chosen.

The ones to protect her were two men each of her sides.

The one to prevent the approach of evilness was a man right behind her.

The one to remind her of her role as a Chosen was a man in front of her holding the holy book.



My eyes admired the scene.

Her last part of the last ceremony to end our suffering and purify the whole town will end soon.

She passed beside us. With her glossy brown hair, she looked perfectly just like a Chosen.

A little away from the cliff, they held her for a moment to deliver the speech…

A tuneless chant could be heard…

“Here, we’re standing in this _____ area…”

I could no more remember what was said that time. For a child, it was a new vocabulary for me that I actually had no interest to look into its meaning.

“We’re standing in this _____ area, this _____ ocean, this _____ day, to present you the greatest of us all, Vergina, our beloved daughter, as a _____ for you, Lord _____.”

He continued on…

“We have touched her not, nor did we drink her _____, for she is to become yours and yours only.

For this, we ask of you to forgive us and leave us not to starve.

Bestow your blessing upon us and our children and to become obedient only to you.

May the darkness of the sinners be purified by her light!”

Darkness?...




I believed in his words.

She’ll purify us all and save us from the darkness that lied deep within the hearts of the so called sinner…

With the absence of the moon, her light replaced our need for the light to see.

With one push, she fell so smoothly into the ocean.

So amazingly she flew in the air.

A splash of water could be heard and then only dead silence filled the place.

Children remained there waiting for the commotion while the adults went home.

I still remember those words. The letters of which goes under the definition of ‘Unforgettable words’

“A white bird will fly freely through the gargantuan sky. That’s when your wishes will be carried away with her wings to god.”

That line hasn’t granted yet. I wanted to see the Chosen as a bird…I wanted my wish to be granted.



The second became a minute and the minute became an hour.

We were motivated by curiosity to see…
We waited for Godot to come and he came…

The white bird came out of the ocean and flew high into the black sky.

It beamed a soft light that shone under the darkness.

She purified us…



“I want to become a Chosen!”

My wish was granted…



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Is it possible for someone to change his fate?

The weakness of human’s mind, incapable of inventing a time machine.

Regret…

What did I gain?



My life has changed since that incident.

I’ve been selected among all that existed as the Chosen. One that will bring forth god’s light upon all the created things. Only to those who believed in me…



“I’ve descended from above, within me laid the duty to purify.

I’ll revive the light that was stained with the darkness of the sinners.”

Those holy words were sufficient to wash all that which mingled in my veins the moment I was born.

No longer a sinner…

“Soon, soon enough and the curtains will open only to introduce me to the world.

Soon, I’ll have an end worth of remembrance…”

An end?



The Chief came.

“Tomorrow as planned. Gather them on the town hall. The Messenger is off to get the message.

We mustn’t cause any problem. The Chosen is among one of those angels.

She mustn’t be harmed from the darkness.” He proclaimed.

“Everything is set as destined. Pay no worries.” He replied.



We were on the exposition to recognize our purpose of existence.

I was the only one who existed…

On walking on the road, everything was decided.

I, with other little angels, walked around the town.

We were told to take a tour then immediately come back home.

Other than us, the roads were empty except a bunch of men gathered up the cliff.

The judge and his lawyers gazed at us one by one as we passed beside.

The judgment befell upon us like thunder.

“You, my little angel, is the next Chosen!”

The judge exclaimed pointing his finger at me.

“I am the Chosen?”



“I, the Chosen, by standing on any piece of land can make it shine richly green.

My presence can send enough strength needed to refresh that which were by the hands of god.

The palm of my hands transmits the little bounds of my heart into the small bodies of those weak creatures.

This body of mine omits the light that which can have no replacement even compared to the shinning moon.

I am the Chosen whom can save and devour all into eternal darkness.

Step me forward to my one and only Lord…”



toue rei zue kura ryou toue zue
kuroa ryou zue toue ryou rei neu ryou zue

There I stood under the shades of trees around me. They were me and I was them…

We were connected through the shades.

They formed a magnificent web which consoled me. I was protected from the outer world.

Savor and her companions…together forever till the ritual ended.

Transforming was once said to be painful. I found no harm caused to me or to the other me who was beneath the crust to be reborn as a new plant…



va rei zue toue neu toue ryou toue kuroa
ryou rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va zue rei
va neu va rei va neu va zue rei
Smooth breeze blew, pedals fell down, and the earth witnessed the birth of happiness.

The road I walked on was filled with roses competing to be stepped over by me. Nature was celebrating the wise chosen of the one destined to fill the world with peace.

I was the only person who’ll purify all that which whispered “I want to live.”

But I was the one who needed to live…



kuroa ryuo kuroa neu toue rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va
rei va neu kuroa toue rei rei

Time passed by and five days were cut half into 2 days and 12 hours.

I had so little time to prepare physically, in which I had no hands to fasten the matter, and more importantly mentally…

The thoughts of living as a newly divine creature, I was so happy that it hurt not to be for the rest of my life…thoughts of not wanting to give up what could never be experienced again once it end.



The world…my world seemed to be blooming.

my world…in its golden age.

My world was sharing my fate, the fate of the Chosen.



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“I can feel all the thoughts so strong in the depth of my heart…



A question I asked over and over, wanting to tell you





Won’t you make my wish?



You, who was born in this world to spend eternity in this lonely ocean of darkness.



You’ll be sleeping in the night that doesn’t end.



Peacefully and quietly where no one can disturb you as you purify the world…”





“You are the one who they call ‘The Chosen’, am I right?”



On that ominous night, a man paid me a visit, an unknown creature…



“And who might you be?”



“One who exists to save you, the Chosen, who have been engulfed in darkness…”



“Is it I your mentioning?”



“Aren’t you the only one who is in alienation?



Here! where light is forbidden to shine.”



“I don’t need a materialistic light. My life is brightened by the light of my heart!”



“I can barely see this light.”



“You human beings only believe what you se-…”



“-Aren’t you the same as we are? A human being?”



“You believe what you see!”



“Heh, what I heard was a disbeliever as a child, now, the teenage became a believer?”



“A child-…”



Stoutly said : “The heart of a believer doesn’t follow what others believe, but rather what his heart believes in!”





Hearing that, I felt a tight sensation in my heart.



Why is it that it bothers me?



I am a true believer…I didn’t follow what they believe in…no…



I was a disbeliever…now I’m just a follower of what they believe in…



Am I not a true believer?





That night, I was allowed to take a quick glance at the view of the world I’ll soon save…



The moon was high and clear among all the starts that glittered.



Only dead silent engulfed the place.



The small cottages and houses were all gray…



I got distracted over what that strange old man has said…



I must prove to myself that when I followed the others in what they believe in was only what my heart strongly needed to believe…



I disengaged myself from the guardians and flowed freely to where the ocean lied…



where all the Chosen were thrown…from above.





I went and saw…things I shouldn’t see…




And the prohibited words I spoke…”a lie?”





I fell into my crises. I fell on the ground and never rose again…



They found me unconscious…and I remained like this for days…





“The view I see now is the same as yesterday



The street I walk on is still the same



But my whole world has changed



I definitely can’t smile like that again



Who I was up until yesterday, will never show up again…”



And again that unknown creature came…



“It seems to me that the Chosen has seen what she was blind of to witness.



I’m not expecting an answer though. I’m just relieved to see that you can still stand on your feet.”



I couldn’t speak…my other self carried a heavy burden that made my body freeze.



However, in front of him, my tongue moved.



“My heart hurts…”



“This is the sign of being a human being.”



“I wonder where does this pain come from.



Should I go to the direction where the pain is coming? I’m afraid.



I know not what prevents me from going, but this heart of mine beats so fast whenever I took a step toward that direction. What happened to me?



I was so strong and brave, yet now I’m this week to take even one step?...”



“You are a human being after all.”



“I’m afraid from that weakness…I’m afraid of going there or getting near from it.



Tell me, you who might hold the answer, what should I do?



Am I to stay like this forever? Trapped in between being the Chosen or simply a human being…



For what did I live for all these years?



What is my duty? Or rather what is my real purpose?



For whose sake am I living for?



What’s going to happen to me? Am I to bear this forever?



This which seems endless…



Speak, you who might save me from the nothingness I became…



If I were neither to become the Chosen nor to have been a human being, then what am I?



I lived and breathed the whole time for what?...



Why am I here? Where am I supposed to be?”



“Any human being, in order to make life shine, is prepared to have an ending with death.



This cell you’re living in is more like your own heart, the heart of each and every Chosen that had lived here, as black as pitch with the thick darkness. This dark view hides the mysterious truth of the years.



In the darkness of the pitch black world drawn with sins, one’s self desires for a moment to taste the beauty of the spiritual side, which will get you back from the unconscious world to the conscious one.



Go there!



Where the pain is coming from, there is something real!



Your questions will be answered with truth. Extend your sight at all directions; your questions will be answered for sure.



Dying solves nothing!!”


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“I’m scared



Afraid that I’m not human



Afraid that I’m different from all other people



Afraid from the things I don’t know



And the things I do know



And yet, above everything else…I am most terrified of my own existence…”






“Mother, I’m afraid the Chosen has got in touch with darkness while we were absent. She is to stay here in this little cottage until the destined hour. She is to stop going outside for a while and neither visitors nor family are allowed to see her for the time being”



“For the sake of the Chosen and this world, I’ll endure it till the end.”



Mother became a doll, which only listens to its master’s commands.



“What is to become of me?”





“It doesn’t matter anymore…



No matter how hard I try to move forward, I am held by the sin I committed.



They wouldn’t be like that if I were not to complain about their believes.



I don’t have a future to look forward and live.



My future is different with this thing I’m carrying on…



What is it that I’m carrying?



Darkness?



But the Chosen is supposed to be a shell against any darkness.



Was that also a lie?



Also??



Was there before it another lie?



All of these are lies…



They keep on feeding my mind with lies. And I believed them…



All these years, I’ve been living under a lie.



My dreams…my ideals…faded to nothing?



My heart had been confused ever since the first time I saw that incident.



The bird…the light…the ocean…all of these were lies.”





I went and saw…things I shouldn’t see…



I saw the whole crime…



Preparations? They were preparing for the ritual.



The ocean that was supposed to shine when the Chosen comes near, was only light bulbs hidden beneath so it can perfume a perfect light shone from deep within the ocean.



The light that I was supposed to omit was also fake.



The bird…I saw it…our eyes met.



Wasn’t it I who should turn into a bird and fly to lord?



Wasn’t it the Chosen?



And the cave? The tombs? The black threads?



I’ve seen the day light…





“I wonder why…



Tears won’t come. Maybe I’m heartless.



It hurts here, inside my chest as if my other self, whose supposed to be the Chosen, was a real self.



She won’t feel pain if she died…so I don’t feel pain anymore either.



Everything will be just like a dream. Yes, just a dream…”





I’ve been living a lie. There’s nothing inside…


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“Don’t chase after what makes you cry,



try hard by yourself with what is left.”



Nothing was left to try hard with…





No more tears knew on my cheeks a way.



With so many visits, they got bored and left.



The road I was walking on was filled with needles…



No, it wasn’t put to harm me. But to awaken the soul which I carried the moment I was born.



They couldn’t prevent me from walking for I to bear such a harsh fate.



The Chosen was to fear not that which harms human beings…but that which harms her companions.



“I never wished that”…never have I wished for myself such a dream.



Not the dream that I longed for…



“A nightmare…”which kept threatening me to pledge my allegiance to it.



I have shattered into pieces and no one seemed to have the power to collect them.



“Broken beyond repair”…my soul.



No more could I bear this pain while having them watch over me bleeding.



“Waiting for the end”…yes, they were waiting for my end.



The end of the black dot whose fault was of being born, spreading darkness upon all that existed.





“You’re not alone!



All the people, bearing heavy burdens, search for tomorrow.



You need not search for someone to collect that which belongs to you.



You, alone, can collect your own pieces of yourself…”





Without me…”the world will be filled with darkness.”



Without my light…”people will live in pitch darkness.”



Without this necessary sacrifice…”darkness will bestow its eternal suffering upon us all.”





“There is no darkness in a place where the sun shines.



There is no spot in which darkness can posses for eternal.



There is no replacement for the light of the sun at day time and the moon at night.



Your eyes reflect a beautiful sun, that’s the only thing you among all own.”





“I have the blood of theChosen flowing in me. I was born to save the world.



I was born…to be a sacrifice.



Because I was the Chosen, I was always alone.



Because I was known as the Chosen, I wasn’t a human being.”





“Everyone wants to save the world. That which flows within you is the same blood as each and every human being posses.



It’s true that you lived a lonely life, but it wasn’t because you were the Chosen.



You didn’t have the strength to approach anyone because you would die as the Chosen and with ties, the mission will be even harder to be accomplished.



It’s because you were the Chosen that I was able to meet you. I’m glad that you are the Chosen.



Live as the Chosen and save the world, but remember that there is another way to life other than to wait for death!



As long as God exists, there is a hope of being saved…of continue on living!”





“Why is it that I’m being stalked by this voice?



This voice…this gentle voice changed everything around me.



I am now in a place which cannot be seen, but my soul has seen it…



This voice aches my heart. Anything was better than this agony.



Anything was more tolerable than this confusion.





My heart had been confused ever since that incident when I saw the cave.



My fears had been ever since growing upon me. I’m trying to comfort myself with many suppositions, but I found all in vain.



I want it now…



I want it…desperately…my life!”





“Where the pain is coming, there is something real!”



“In the direction where the pain is coming from…



This sensation…is it my other self’s feelings?



Lonely and sad?!”





He came.



In a moonless night, outside the holy house, I waited for my destiny to arrive.



However, he reached me before it…



“They said if you don’t want, they won’t force you to do it!” he claimed.



And continued on, “Speak! Tell them what your heart desires!”…



“But my heart doesn’t belong to me…” I proclaimed.



“What are you saying?” he questioned.



“This isn’t the time for this. Don’t you want to do what you like?”



“Not all what I want is the right thing to do!” I replied.



“What do you mean? Haven’t you asked for help couple of minutes ago?



All you have to do is either cry or speak.”



“I am the Chosen!



I can have what I need without the need to ask for it…



I can’t cry. I can’t shed tears over worldly pleasures.



I can’t speak. My words are unheard by merely human beings.”



“Are you serious?



Yesterday, you were dying to live and today, you’re throwing your life.



That’s strange…



Have they bought your mind?”



“The Chosen has nothing to fear of…I have nothing to lose.”



“Is this you? Or have you given yourself to the imaginary holy creature they’re talking about?”



“The real me has died…I no longer exist…



My words...words when I was a human being, meaningless words…”



“Are you throwing away your life?



Do you wish to continue on living as the Chosen?”



Words didn’t come…What I wished for was a life.



The one who gave it to me, is now asking for it…



It became so precious that I refused to give it back…not by the hands of creatures.





“What am I supposed to do?



Is there a way to get me back being a human being?”



“Live! That’s the only way you can show others and yourself that you’re a human being.”



“And this, which I carry? What am I supposed to do with it?”



“You must not kill that which is alive.”



“Can I live, with two souls?”



“Merge them!”



Tears formed in my eyes. I sniffed and wiped my eyes, trying to appear strong before



this old man, but the words he said was much stronger to rebel against them…



“I wonder why…



Why are you trying to save me?”



He let a loose smile and said genuinely



“Because you’re trying to change things for better and because you look like my passed away daughter..”



“That makes you as my father.”



It was a long silence we spend looking at each other. Our throat felt tight and words couldn’t be formed.



To him only I felt that I could be myself…



“Tell me, is a father supposed to be like that?”



He looked at me with a sad eyes and whispered:



“If only you didn’t become the Chosen, you could live more freely.



If there were no such thing as the Chosen, they might accept their fate and live peacefully till the end.



The Chosen can’t save anyone. She’s hurting others and getting hurt herself.”


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The light of the Chosen residing inside me was like a needle that thrust through my chest.



I felt like a peculiar kind of pain entered my body and creeped around my heart.



I succumbed to the pain as it twisted the needle in my heart a little more and drained any ounce of hope I had left of surviving…



“Surviving? Continue on living?…Hope?



I feel like I’m living without hope.



Where can I find this hope?



Have you lost yours too?



What is it to be done now?



Is it possible to make another hope? Can we live without it?



Can we borrow it from someone? Would they give us?



We, who wondered around searching for the meaning of our existence…”





“It hurts. Regardless of how many times I tried looking around for someone, no one was found in my sight.



I’m in agony… is there no one who share the same pain?



I can’t do anything. I’m powerless.



Time is running out. Tomorrow my story will end.



I feel jaded. The weight of the burden is killing me slowly…slowly.”





“It’s getting late.”



Even though I’m trapped in this cottage, I knew night was coming.



The day slowly ended.



I was slowly heading to my end…my death.



I wasn’t afraid of it, but now fear was eating my very soul.



Stuck in here all alone…I wasn’t hoping to be saved.



The thought of sharing the same happiness human beings had, never crossed my mind.



Once truth was declared and that old man fed my heart with even more confusion, it haunted me day and night.



“I want this real happiness!



I want to live!”






I heard sounds of footsteps outside the cottage.



The door opened with an intimidating creak.



A single dim ray shot from outside the cottage fell upon my dark eyes.



Yes, my eyes had grown darker each day I spend locked away in this haunted cottage.



I was stained black. Darkness enveloped light and controlled over everything that was beside me.



I was no different from those things…



I kept my eyes shut as tight as I could and only listened.



The sound of their footsteps became more clearer.



“Prepare her well, mother!” the judge spoke.



I knew his sound pitch and could distinguish his voice among million ones.



Yes, the voice of the man who set my destiny on stone…



“Tonight we will purge the girl.”





Someone came so close to me and whispered: “Dear, stand up so I could change your clothes.



You’re going to meet your Lord today at night. I’m so proud of you.



You defeated the darkness which distracted you!”



My mother…her kind voice and gentle hands batting my shoulders send me back to the nostalgic days. The sealed past started to stir in my chest, where I used to run around the house with laugh until she gets the breakfast done.



When I stripped, she came crying out loud “Are you alright?” and threw her arms around me…



When she encouraged me to walk forward toward grasping my dreams…



I turned into her warm embrace and was on the verge of tears.



“Dear, I know it was hard for you to bear such difficult situations. But worry not, for everything will end today. Stay strong till night. It’ll descend soon…very soon.”



Mother’s encouraging tone made the matter even worse.



“I feel enervated…I don’t have enough strength to carry on this horribleness…” I said with a low voice in which only she could hear.





Mother didn’t reply until she was sure enough that only my presence and hers existed inside the cottage.



“You can relax now. Your Lord is waiting for you. Weren’t you eager to meet him?”



“I am, but why should I sacrifice myself?”



“You’re not sacrificing your life. Fulfilling your duty it is as the Chosen…endowing your life to your one and only Lord!



Beside, you’re alive now, isn’t this enough?”



“No, it isn’t enough at all.”



“My dear, your words are like swords stabbing the Lord…”



“These aren’t my words. My own words have died since I became the Chosen.



These are the words of a human being trapped inside the body of an Angel…”



“Enough! What happened to the daughter I rose? The one who wished to be the Chosen!”



“I’m no more your daughter. I am the Chosen now!”



“And I’m glad and honored to see my own child becoming the Chosen who will save this world.”



“I’m not glad at all. I want to return being a human being just like you.



I want myself back!”



“He was right! Darkness approached you. You’re now stained with darkness.



Look at yourself. Since when has your smile fade this much?”



“Since the day truth revealed itself!”



“Your sadness…is it from becoming the Chosen?”
“It’s because of not being able to hold dear that which belongs to me…”



“It’s true that you had to sacrifice a lot for the sake of transforming into the Chosen, but you see, my dear, you don’t have to try hard anymore. You have already become the Chosen!



There’s no need to feel sad over what has gone. Don’t chase after what makes you cry,



try hard by yourself with what is left.”



Nothing was left to try hard with…






I was dressed with a white dress, as whitish as the pure light.



And they blinded me so that earthly pleasure could never reach to me…



Sitting on my knees, I heard again sound of footsteps, the door has opened and suddenly…



A familiar sound… “Have you talked with them?”



A voice which eased my suffering and lightened my heavy heart.



“I see you’ve spent some time with your mother. Anything changed?”



“The whole country is after my death, my parents are no different…”



“What do you want to do? Go against it or with it?”



“Can we do it? against them?”



“We can!”



“I can’t…”
“You can!



You are the source of hope!”



“Hope?”



“To purify the world is what they all want from you in exchange of your life.



With your death, they gain strength to continue on living!



With your life, they gain the hope to live!



Having you, they can feel they’re alive!



If you died, no one will be troubled. Actually, they would enjoy your death. They never thought of this ritual as killing someone innocent. With your agreement it sounded different, but to me it’s all the same.



What is the worth of this world if we were to kill those who are said to be known as the Chosen?



If we were to kill them, what will be saved in this world?



Is the world supposed to be worth more than them?



What is the worth of this world, when it will not allow you, who made no sin, to live in it?



If I were to go against this world or save you, I’d choose to save you to the end!



Even at the cost of my life!!”





Silence filled the place. I couldn’t hold my tears…



“Strange…



People out there were happy when I chose death over being alive.



And now a man who I met before couple of days, hurts himself and may commit, what’s called as crime here, in his bid just to save me…”



We both remained silent for a moment. Even with my eyes blind, I could hear his heavy breathe…



“What do I need to do?”



“I have a plan. You need to escape and run to a save place.”



“If everyone in the country wants to kill me



How far do I have to run away to be safe?



Are there any places that are safe?”



“If there isn’t any, then make one!”



“How foolish I am…



I’ve desperately searched for a place where I can live peacefully.



The Chosen who never believed in materialistic things, was herself at heart searching for a materialistic place to live in. Peace was never been a thing to touch.”



He untied the fold on my eyes and got down on the ground in front of me.



“Listen carefully to what I’ll say. We need to get you out of here as soon as we can!”






“I wonder how much longer this road will continue on for?



I wish I can stop time…I’m waiting for a miracle to happen.



I long for that hand…that patted me on the back.



The hand of a father…who used to rub my head.



The hand that taught me how to draw dreams.



The hand that soothed me all this time.



I want to hold it tightly…”






The ocean, so clean and quite.



I’ve always looked at it from above, but never experienced touching not even sailing on it.



It looked so dazzling.



I, and some unknown people, on a calm night prepared a boat and were ready to sail on the ocean back to the city where that old man lived…his hometown.



They gave me a black dress to wear and a black blanket to cover on it.



We promised to meet on this land before taking off, but he didn’t show up.



Never did I felt that scared from death before. My feet held strongly on the ground, resisting from advancing.



It felt as if the shadow of death reached its hands on my feet and grabbed it tightly preventing me from escaping.



The spirits of each and every dead Chosen, disposed of in the cave, still suffer.



The souls immersed in the ocean, still suffer…



I haven’t done anything for them. I shouldn’t escape from this land and leave things unsettled…



If the town people knew about that, they would get furious and might never live their normal life as they used to do.



However, I wanted to live!



The Thoughts of having many wonderful times just by being alive made me want to live…



They were my hope!



Everyone will begrudge me…Having expectations of being saved then being betrayed…



“I can’t save them. The Chosen can’t save anyone.



The Chosen was only an illusion born from darkness…



I’m going to be fine. I can live by myself!”





The moment I put my foot on the boat, I felt relieved. I used to think that it was impossible to find a safe place, yet the small boat sheltered us. It welcomed me with open arms even though I was the Chosen, who’s supposed to be an abomination that will bring disaster to this world if I were to live longer than what I was allowed to be…



The preparation was over. We waited for his arrival…however, he didn’t show up.



Back then when we were inside the cottage, he told me that he’d disguise as the Chosen and will reveal himself when the right time hits.



I wondered what took him so long.



The ritual was about to begin. We heard strange sounds and decided to leave in case things went out of the old man’s hand.



We sailed away from the land.



Watching and remaining silent were what I’ve done all the time. I couldn’t prevent them from leaving him, nor did I reject on going without him. I was afraid from stalling. I didn’t want the town people to see me. I didn’t want them to devastate my happiness… I didn’t wish to be a sacrifice…didn’t want to be the Chosen…didn’t want to die…



I saw a light shone on top of the cliff and lights deep within the ocean just beneath the cliff.



I kept watching the land as it shrank and got smaller and smaller…to the extent that it looked so much like a black dot…a black dot in the ocean…



I gazed at it until it disappeared through darkness, not because it’s be the last time I’ll watch it; rather it’ll be my very beginning…the beginning of my second story.



__________________________________________________ _________
This is the fourth story I wrote.

Please feel free to comment and criticize.
I do really like to read your point of view on how the story is and what to do to improve it.

Naro-chan
30-9-2010, 09:40 PM
peace be upon you my dear " the last thing " xD

Well , well ... be sure i will write freely right now

to start with ... i really do like your piece of lovely verse ( it smells very delicious ) believe me

then , the point you were around it ... i didn't get it yet
cuz ... i felt like i am before a paradox in speech
when you talked about evilness and purification .... the same with devil and angles

something i don't understand here

then he came
from the story which is written above ... i felt you have changed
you were a lively one ... now you turned to be like dead ppl ... why ??? why things go like this

so i connect the first part with the last thing

it's your life ... that life is very tired ...of what
??
i wanna know it myself ... if it is not now ... may be in the following chapters honey


in the last ... i wanna give you a big rose ... not for this topic but ... for another thing in my heart

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
1-10-2010, 08:02 AM
Ara ara? peace be upon you my dear Naro-chan



Well , well ... be sure i will write freely right now

to start with ... i really do like your piece of lovely verse ( it smells very delicious ) believe me

then , the point you were around it ... i didn't get it yet
cuz ... i felt like i am before a paradox in speech
when you talked about evilness and purification .... the same with devil and angles

something i don't understand here

then he came
from the story which is written above ... i felt you have changed
you were a lively one ... now you turned to be like dead ppl ... why ??? why things go like this

so i connect the first part with the last thing

it's your life ... that life is very tired ...of what
??
i wanna know it myself ... if it is not now ... may be in the following chapters honey

Hmmm? you got it so quickly
I'm amazed ^__^
What your reading is actually the end of the story. You know that stories
differ from one to another

The source of evilness and purification. When You have the power to control evil and at the same time
you can use it to purify, you become the source of those both
You'll get to understand everything with the coming chapters

Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it so much
Please do read my coming chapters. Onegaishimasu


in the last ... i wanna give you a big rose ... not for this topic but ... for another thing in my heart
Eh? :\

lolleta
1-10-2010, 05:52 PM
mmmm

that way of writing remind me with some girl i really love it from deep inside
she is gone with dead bye

hope u to be her "

....

u know what's delights ur story???
it's the Mystry

i really can't catch ur mind
but as u said .. it's deffer from one to another

there in every part of ur story i can read the scenario of my life

somehow .. u have touched a deep part of me

...
ur point of purification is inside every body even the devils
it's updating as soon as u decide

sometimes when u feel that u r the source of evilness ... u can hear a faint voice
it seems so far .. but it's acually very close to u
it's the voice of purification

>>>
ur life which had taken and what r u lookin for

really .. no where it's gone
but still here whaiting for ur hand to catch it

just close ur eyes and take deep breath
and u gonna be home

....
i'm wiating for the next
till that time .. have another comment

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
1-10-2010, 09:54 PM
I feel flattered
^///^
The idea of purification mingles inside each one of us. If we have the power purify the world, then why not
But the disaster comes when someone draws for you a wrong way to do that
and instead of purifying, your destroying

Thnaks lolleta
Your comment has encouraged me to continue on writing.
Here's chapter 2
_______________________________________


http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/4826/blackdot1.jpg




Chapter II




I added chapter 2 in the first reply

Naro-chan
2-10-2010, 03:08 AM
Ara ara? peace be upon you my dear Naro-chan


Hmmm? you got it so quickly
I'm amazed ^__^
What your reading is actually the end of the story. You know that stories
differ from one to another



really ? yattaa ... yep i am so familiar with those types of stories actually if the story is completed i would know that myself that it was only the end !


The source of evilness and purification. When You have the power to control evil and at the same time
you can use it to purify, you become the source of those both
You'll get to understand everything with the coming chapters


can't wait ><""



Thanks for commenting. I really appreciate it so much
Please do read my coming chapters. Onegaishimasu


thanx for you ...
of course ... i am gonna read all of them In Sha'a Allah
:)
it seems you have already put the 2nd part
okay ... cuz i have something to do right now ( sleeping ) XD maybe next time i'll continue



Eh? :\

it's a secret lol

salam

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
2-10-2010, 09:33 AM
really ? yattaa ... yep i am so familiar with those types of stories actually if the story is completed i would know that myself that it was only the end !

Hmm?
You know something. I'm sure that you'll get surprised when you read the end




thanx for you ...
of course ... i am gonna read all of them In Sha'a Allah
:)
it seems you have already put the 2nd part
okay ... cuz i have something to do right now ( sleeping ) XD maybe next time i'll continue

Thanks a lot
I appreciate everything you do for me
Sleep well and have lots of sweet dreams. The sun has already rose here




it's a secret lol

salam
Why is it bothering me? >___< do I know you? I feel like I do

Naro-chan
3-10-2010, 01:20 AM
okay cool girl
say : áÇ Åáå ÅáÇ Çááå

ahh after a glance of sleep and full day at campus i came here
so... i can't collect my self
the thing you are talking about is not familiar to my thoughts
i read a lot of western works ... and i can here consider that you yourself used some aspects of Christian culture
like ... chosen , pure , sin and sinners, angle , god


those terms..
you really okay with them right now ?

okay
let's return to your amazing way of writing

lol ... the point now
you are a child
and with group of children
that's nice
oooh ... you have assemble right now
... that reminds me of novels about island- adventure like lord of the flies

but the question is here ... how come you began your life here ... and above you said you sold your priceless life
why you did so ?
who told you about that thing ... to be happy after exchange others life
!!!

you were a such plan person

those things in my mind i am sure i am gonna understand them next in sha'a Allah

ps. if i bothered you in any word plz pardon me ... cuz i am sleepy right now after a long day of work ... i got sleep now cuz another day is waiting
and if my thoughts is differnt from you ... sure it's the culture gab between us ... so just smile when you don't get wat i mean



Why is it bothering me? >___< do I know you? I feel like I do
really ? hhh lool
yes you know me ... i am the one who is talking right now with you
may be later ...

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
3-10-2010, 08:05 PM
Omoshiroi ni anata


okay cool girl
say : áÇ Åáå ÅáÇ Çááå


áÇ Åáå ÅáÇ Çááå ãÍãÏ ÑÓæá Çááå =)
Your long post makes my heart beat so fast


ahh after a glance of sleep and full day at campus i came here
so... i can't collect my self
the thing you are talking about is not familiar to my thoughts
i read a lot of western works ... and i can here consider that you yourself used some aspects of Christian culture
like ... chosen , pure , sin and sinners, angle , god
those terms..
you really okay with them right now ?
hmm? campus? I wanna go campus too T^T
Haha, anyway, your right. I used aspects of Christian culture. Pure and angel has nothing to do with Christianity.
Frankly, I'm not attacking them by writing this story. I hope you'll get whom I'm directing my criticism when you
read till the end.



but the question is here ... how come you began your life here ... and above you said you sold your priceless life
why you did so ?
who told you about that thing ... to be happy after exchange others life
!!!

You see, everything happens in a small village, a town you may say.
Before the heroine begins narrating her story of what happened exactly from the beginning, I like
to put her piece of mind when she realized the truth



those things in my mind i am sure i am gonna understand them next in sha'a Allah
Insha'Allah you'll understand everything


ps. if i bothered you in any word plz pardon me ... cuz i am sleepy right now after a long day of work ... i got sleep now cuz another day is waiting
and if my thoughts is differnt from you ... sure it's the culture gab between us ... so just smile when you don't get wat i mean

^_________________________________________________ __________^
No worries~ I understand each and every word you said.
Feel free to say whatever crosses your mind. Your not bothering me at all.


really ? hhh lool
yes you know me ... i am the one who is talking right now with you
may be later ...
Ayashiiiii <__<

I'll post chapter 3 tomorrow

Naro-chan
3-10-2010, 08:30 PM
oh i catch u girly
you wanna go to campus _} sure something wrong with u


Haha, anyway, your right. I used aspects of Christian culture. Pure and angel has nothing to do with Christianity.

so as i thought ... it's kind of intertextuality
^_^

i can know some now about the story
the protagonist is a female
it tells us about some shadows in her childhood
the place in a tiny village or town ... i suppose she lives with her family with their tribe also

that's nice ...


and this ???

Ayashiiiii <__<
it's japanees ???/
lol

ah in my previous post i was about to ask about something and i forget dunno why loool
but now i 'll just ask


toue rei zue kura ryou toue zue
kuroa ryou zue toue ryou rei neu ryou zue
va rei zue toue neu toue ryou toue kuroa
ryou rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va zue rei
va neu va rei va neu va zue rei
kuroa ryuo kuroa neu toue rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va
rei va neu kuroa toue rei rei


those words of chanting ... from any language ?
and that's it

today i am not gonna sleep so don't worry ... i have Quiz to study for and some stupid acts of plays to read

salam

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
6-10-2010, 02:36 PM
Hi, sorry for the delay. I had so many problems.
Here's chapter 3
enjoy reading~


http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/1360/blackdot2.jpg


Chapter III


Added in the first reply. Thanks Azuma for teaching me this amazing way of organizing
>___<=b
__________________________________________________ ____________________________




i can know some now about the story
the protagonist is a female
it tells us about some shadows in her childhood
the place in a tiny village or town ... i suppose she lives with her family with their tribe also

sekai!
and soon with the coming chapters she'll tell you about the past, present and you'll be able to predict what
happened to her in the future =)



it's japanees ???/
lol
Yeah, its Japanese. Didn't you say "yattaaa~"
So did I joined some Japanese words with English ^o^



those words of chanting ... from any language ?
and that's it
This is called "The Grand Fonic Hymn" also known as "Tear's hymn"
If your an otaku, you'll understand what I mean.



today i am not gonna sleep so don't worry ... i have Quiz to study for and some stupid acts of plays to read
salam Still studying. Ah now I feel the blessing of having finished school and uni
phew -___-

And thanks again for commenting and spending your time to read my story
arigatou gozaimashita

ÃÓãÜÜÜÇÁ
6-10-2010, 04:52 PM
Hello sis
haow are you ?
thumbsup-Icon It's nice to see your creativity by showing your short stories
I did write some before ,but they may seem boring ...
any way ..I'm here to thank u and to recommend sth
in order to have all chapters displayed at the first replay
why don't you put them like that
chapter one
best wishes for you
PS: I like your english ...go on Ic-Graduate0

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
6-10-2010, 07:20 PM
Hello sis
haow are you ?
thumbsup-Icon It's nice to see your creativity by showing your short stories
I did write some before ,but they may seem boring ...
any way ..I'm here to thank u and to recommend sth
in order to have all chapters displayed at the first replay
why don't you put them like that
chapter one
best wishes for you
PS: I like your english ...go on Ic-Graduate0

Hi Azuma
Thank you for the sweet and nice words. I'm glad to have you read my short stories
If you don't mind, I'd like to read the stories you wrote
It's ok if its boring. Even my first stories were boring. Believe me, I wrote something
that would let you bored and on top of that it'll give you a headache

Thank you for showing me a great way of showing all the chapters
in my first reply
And thank you for commenting
Hope to see you again soon

Naro-chan
6-10-2010, 08:04 PM
ooh
finally i could come here

i was surprised when she became the chosen
rituals of the changing reminds me of a mysterious culture

any way

chosen in your point of view ... considered as what exactly ? cuz all i get ... she is an angle ( or human changed to be an angle )
c'mon ... you are inflected with such anime or what ??
XD


the last thing }}} okay i am calling your name now lol

btw ... ur words are awesome hmmmm
i bet you wrote alot before



If your an otaku, you'll understand what I mean
sorry ... i did not get " otaku " meaning
i am still a freshman at this world

okay ...
have a nice " evening " cuz the day has already finished

salam

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
7-10-2010, 02:16 PM
Oohh I haven't known that my story got sticky
yay~
Thanks for the one who did that




chosen in your point of view ... considered as what exactly ? cuz all i get ... she is an angle ( or human changed to be an angle )
c'mon ... you are inflected with such anime or what ??
XD
The Chosen is someone with the blood of an angel
Only the well informed man, the big chief you might say, can know her among all the children
Her other self, the angel that lives inside her, must be awaken before the ritual begins
That's what the chosen is, in my point of view =)
well, you shouldn't believe such a thing
And I'm not infected with such an anime. It's pure imagination my dear~


the last thing }}} okay i am calling your name now lol
You don't have to add "the". Last thing is enough ^^;


btw ... ur words are awesome hmmmm
i bet you wrote alot before
That's my fourth story after all.


sorry ... i did not get " otaku " meaning
i am still a freshman at this world
Otaku is the person who is addicted to animes and such
The more you love animes and mangas, the more you become an otaku

lolleta
7-10-2010, 10:22 PM
ur dream came true
and here u r the choosen

that's great ... but what after to be
i'm looking for the next

>>>

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
8-10-2010, 09:41 AM
ur dream came true
and here u r the choosen
that's great ... but what after to be
i'm looking for the next
>>>

Thanks lolleta for your nice words
I hope the coming chapters will please you even more



http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/5559/blackdot3.jpg

Chapter 4 has been added in the first reply.
Enjoy reading~

Naro-chan
8-10-2010, 10:28 AM
gimme a break
^^"""
lol ... all of this is from your pure imagination
lool



one part last
....
i need now to reread the story from the 1st word &
till now

then later
btw
JOM'A MUBARKA

SALAM

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
8-10-2010, 09:35 PM
gimme a break
^^"""
lol ... all of this is from your pure imagination

Hmm? you don't believe it?
Listen, when you get to see many things happening in your life, you'll become like me
Sometimes, its hard to make your words reach some ears, especially to those whom
you need them to listen to you. Even if you wrote those words, it won't change anything.
Your turn comes here, where you need to make things look like a story. Many people tend
to think about stories as stories, but when read carefully, stories can build a generation
and destroy it at the same time according to the message conveyed within
That's when I started function my mind to begin inventing ideas from my own imagination
It took me some time to reach a better level than what I used to be =____=



one part last
....
i need now to reread the story from the 1st word &
till now

then later
btw
JOM'A MUBARKA

SALAM
Huh? why re-read the story? are you confused or something
You understood everything, didn't you? I hope you did
And Jom'a mubarak to you too my dear

One last thing =)
You see why I choose my username as "last thing"
anyway, I'd like to see your opinions of the chapters I've wrote so far
Is there any unrealistic feature in the conversations or when narrating the story?
Have I described enough to the extent that you can see clearly the image?
The only criticism I had from the day I began writing was "no enough description"
So I was wondering, is there enough description or do I need to add more?

Naro-chan
8-10-2010, 10:00 PM
lol
to start from what you have ended with ^^""
description
ah yeah ... may be in the 1st and 2nd ones there is a lack of infomation
but to me it's alright after that
cuz ... this is the writer ideology to write
^^
so ... the style is okay and a man should read the words more and more to analysis what he read
because he is infront of a stunning story-righter
^^""
this brings to the 1st point
honey i am not saying i don't believe you or don't your words
no no no ... exactly no way
but ... i was so surprised to know that all is from your own
i meant ... that i should be myself for a while to understand more about the story cuz ... T____T things are mixed together right now ^____^
or as " up - side - down " xD it's a name of a traditional food here in Sham

okay ... you are an experiment human
i am not a thing in front of you :) so what comes from here is only respect and proud

about the last chapter ... sorry honey i didn't read any yet ... even i was most of the day here ...exploring net
but ... as you know it's work and work and wooork

XD ... .

the last thing
i suppose it as the not without the
cuz i am now so familiar with last thing

see you :)

ÃÓãÜÜÜÇÁ
8-10-2010, 11:05 PM
coma'n ...you're arguing about the story
that makes me even more excited
to read it ^^
I would like to say (Teacher rather than Last thing)
but dear sis I'm really thankful that your'e eager to read the chapters I've done once
soon you will come with (so boring I couldn't even finish it )g
but even though ,
your welcome

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
9-10-2010, 09:32 AM
lol
to start from what you have ended with ^^""
description
ah yeah ... may be in the 1st and 2nd ones there is a lack of infomation
but to me it's alright after that
cuz ... this is the writer ideology to write

Ah I knew it T^T
I should fix this spot



so ... the style is okay and a man should read the words more and more to analysis what he read
because he is infront of a stunning story-righter
^^""
>/////<
Haha you know, many critics said that the main character of the story is a male
I was surprised. How many times did I mention "she"
but they were right in one thing. The female character doesn't have a name ;;>__>



but ... i was so surprised to know that all is from your own
i meant ... that i should be myself for a while to understand more about the story cuz ... T____T things are mixed together right now ^____^
or as " up - side - down " xD it's a name of a traditional food here in Sham
Sorry for misunderstanding
I know that your busy with translating mangas, your education, life and such
but please do bear with the confusion ^^;
I like stories with these kinds of confusion. It brings amusement =)
Sham, huh? I never knew this info. "upside-down" and FOOD, I'll search for the recipe and make it
one day...

Glad to read your comments every now and then
Good luck managing your work and reading the story
^__^=b



coma'n ...you're arguing about the story
that makes me even more excited
to read it ^^
Do read it. I'm eager to see your comment and point of view about it


I would like to say (Teacher rather than Last thing)
but dear sis I'm really thankful that your'e eager to read the chapters I've done once
soon you will come with (so boring I couldn't even finish it )g
but even though ,
your welcome

I am honored to read your story. You don't know. A person to person differ
maybe I'll like it =)
If you don't mind, send it to me or post it so I can read it
I'm trying my best to reach 50posts so I can send msgs. ah its so difficult
I'm amazed how many of you reached 100posts
Your all are amazing *-*

ÃÓãÜÜÜÇÁ
9-10-2010, 03:15 PM
It's been written since a considerable time
so don't mind gaps , mistakes and silly plot
and focus on the language
Here you are (http://www.zshare.net/download/8131348300543347/)

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
10-10-2010, 10:27 PM
I've already read the first two chapters and I must say
Its wonderful. Your way of describing is amazing
I'll make sure to give you a long comment when i finish reading it

For now

http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/7384/blackdot5.jpg

chapter 5 had been added in the first reply
Enjoy

Naro-chan
11-10-2010, 06:55 AM
T___T
at ch4 i thought i am gonna shed tears no wonder , but hardly i bear that ...
but in ch5 i cried nd cried oooooh T^T"""

lemme start from dat
oooh a long sigh -____-""


“You human beings only believe what you se-…”one of sentences that stole my mind for a moment ... yeah , if this so to human being in general ... a man can't believe anything but what he sees real in front of himself ....
Al-Hamdu lellah I am A Muslim who believe in Allah


back to the topic ^^"""

the missing word " see " yeah he seems like he disrupt you as he is very sure of his speech
... and then the conflict within herself began to raise ... is she a real believer ???

but the moment of commenting mistakes also came ... you see something you're not suppose to see ...
and then ... T_T you are NOT any more a chosen ... you returned to be a human ... but a different one from before
ah ... i was so eager to know what she has seen ... what was that !!
even my tears dropped ... but she didn't so ... that's hurts more and more

then when she said " my heart hurts " i could feel the catastrophe that's happened to her
she who is now ... what she will do and the sake for whom


but the most hurting and shocking things ... now she knows ... she knows how the real is ... ugly and dark
why should we live in lies ??? why ???
why ppl do lie to each other ... why almost believe in lies rather reality

ah ... even this extremely tragic ... yet it's nice
i realize who wise you ARE ...
ah ... i am gonna miss this story a lot
it shouldn't be here alone ... show it to the world

ps ...
if my poetry instructor shouts at me cuz i didn't read Sir Philip Sidney's A litany .... what i should say to him rather i was reading a more interesting story ...

and last thing about " up side down " you can find it as its Arabic name
" ÇáãÞáæÈÉ "
lol ,,, the English name isn't its ... but my lol teacher was joking and translated it like that

best of best
and may Allah bless you in every path in your life hny
salam

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
11-10-2010, 03:24 PM
T___T
at ch4 i thought i am gonna shed tears no wonder , but hardly i bear that ...
but in ch5 i cried nd cried oooooh T^T"""
O__o the first one to cry
*hugs* your making me cry now
Tears of happiness for having a GREAT reader and for the long comments TT____TT


one of sentences that stole my mind for a moment ... yeah , if this so to human being in general ... a man can't believe anything but what he sees real in front of himself ....
Al-Hamdu lellah I am A Muslim who believe in Allah That's what materialistic people always love to say especially when you get into
discussions with them
All I have to say is that they're contradicting themselves


the missing word " see " yeah he seems like he disrupt you as he is very sure of his speech
... and then the conflict within herself began to raise ... is she a real believer ???She disengaged herself from being one of them just by uttering this sentence "YOU human beings"
Her heart is like a puzzle =)


but the moment of commenting mistakes also came ... you see something you're not suppose to see ...
and then ... T_T you are NOT any more a chosen ... you returned to be a human ... but a different one from before
ah ... i was so eager to know what she has seen ... what was that !!Rather than getting back as a human being, your stuck in between
She was treated as the Chosen which is more closely of being an angel
Its impossible for her to return back as a human being after living as a holy creature for a long time


i could feel the catastrophe that's happened to her
she who is now ... what she will do and the sake for whomShe is in her own dilemma


why should we live in lies ??? why ???
why ppl do lie to each other ... why almost believe in lies rather reality 1-Reality is stranger than fiction
2-Reality hurts
3-The light of the reality in some aspect is too bright that can't be seen
That's what I think is the answer for the question stated above ^^;;


ah ... even this extremely tragic ... yet it's nice
i realize who wise you ARE ... ^///^ thanks for complimenting me
I have reached this level because of your comments and criticism
Remember this "Behind a good writer is an amazing readers~"


ah ... i am gonna miss this story a lot
it shouldn't be here alone ... show it to the world Not this story
If you read the story "The Lottery", you'll get what I meant
Read what they said about the story


ps ...
if my poetry instructor shouts at me cuz i didn't read Sir Philip Sidney's A litany .... what i should say to him rather i was reading a more interesting story ...Haha, you'll get a sever punishment
Well, it happened to me once. My students instead of preparing for the next lesson or revising the
previous one, they were preparing the lesson for another subject.
It really hurts to see your students bored from your lectures T^T

So it wasn't called as "upside down". I was really shocked when I first heard the name
Now it makes sense ^^;

Thanks Naro-chan for this wonderful feast
You filled my ravenous appetite
I'm full now xD
BTW, how old are you? I'm really curious to know

ÃÓãÜÜÜÇÁ
11-10-2010, 04:03 PM
Hello again , congratulations for having the end displayed over here icon31
I have finished reading your story but not quite sure of getting everything and here is what i thought of it:


The story seems to be written by Good English writer who were highly inspired by stories he read before , things he has watched as well as great deal of experiences in life which is the greatest element behind showing this story .
To be honest , from the first glance I took at your story , it feels like it would be kinda of fantasy and myth , but I believed you wanted to drew our attention to sth symbolic hidden among your lines.
While I was shocked to read (purifying from sins , fly to lord and such, these christen aspects has nothing to do with the real meanings of your story ...it's just like the story is wearing a western appearance but the core is yours

Let's come to the end which I was waiting for , It's also sad but yet happy .
I mean ..isn't the moment when some body realized that all what he dedicated his life for was just a lie is considered as something pleasing and happy moment
what I mean is awakening from the darkness of lies to the light of truth is quite painful but worthy even compared to that pain or more!
for that reason I'm saying it's happy

The language is of someone professional masha'alla (I honestly like it )
the description , the wonderings of her at last is all admirable
I can only say that at the first three chapters you viewed an idea and kept describing it over and over in which you could have turned the light to something else like other characters or sth from your creativity. and there is some misspelled words

...
That's all my dear
well done . and do your best in the new coming stories
^^and do not forget that I'm waiting a full criticism about mine
Good Luck
icon102

Naro-chan
11-10-2010, 07:55 PM
lol ... last thing ... you are a teacher after all ^^""" how ++++ no comment lol
who knows ... may be i am gonna end with teaching after all -___-"""



O__o the first one to cry
*hugs* your making me cry now
Tears of happiness for having a GREAT reader and for the long comments TT____TT

lol ... doworry i am happy right now ^^""
the hugs from you ? lol
oh that's a lot don't mention that ... it's my honor to read and analysis with you


1-Reality is stranger than fiction
2-Reality hurts
3-The light of the reality in some aspect is too bright that can't be seen
That's what I think is the answer for the question stated above

ah that's true ... but in the real life ppl love lies over truth
that's reminds me of " the theory of the cave " by Plato c'mon you are very smart to include such a thing like this
my congrats to u and ur mind too
...



Haha, you'll get a sever punishment
Well, it happened to me once. My students instead of preparing for the next lesson or revising the
previous one, they were preparing the lesson for another subject.
It really hurts to see your students bored from your lectures T^T

looool ... i did something so so so near to the theme in ur fiction
guess what hh
we have to write a daily report about every class
so today i read mine and it was ... hhhhhh the truth
i said to him i didn't understand a word from you
he was happy for being so honest ...
^^""
ah ><""
i can't say anything about teaching ... cuz i am a student right now


So it wasn't called as "upside down". I was really shocked when I first heard the name
Now it makes sense ^^;

you should try it ... ^^""



Thanks Naro-chan for this wonderful feast
You filled my ravenous appetite
I'm full now xD
BTW, how old are you? I'm really curious to know

you are welcome ...
even i will repeat my first thank in my first post here .... to that thing lol
thnkx alot
btw i am around 20 ... not young not old
^^"""

i will wait for another work from you ... don't forget i am waiting
Allah with you

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
11-10-2010, 10:38 PM
Hello again , congratulations for having the end displayed over here icon31
The end?
My story didn't end. There are 2 chapters left
I'm at dead end in chapter 7 -____-


The story seems to be written by Good English writer who were highly inspired by stories she read before , things she has watched as well as great deal of experiences in life which is the greatest element behind showing this story .And you are an amazing reader and also a writer
Thanks for the nice words. I really appreciate it so much


To be honest , from the first glance I took at your story , it feels like it would be kinda of fantasy and myth , but I believed you wanted to drew our attention to sth symbolic hidden among your lines.
While I was shocked to read (purifying from sins , fly to lord and such, these christen aspects has nothing to do with the real meanings of your story ...it's just like the story is wearing a western appearance but the core is yoursBINGO!!!
I never meant it to have any Christian aspects. It was directed for something else
which I wish you as my readers to figure out


Let's come to the end which I was waiting for , It's also sad but yet happy .
I mean ..isn't the moment when some body realized that all what he dedicated his life for was just a lie is considered as something pleasing and happy moment
what I mean is awakening from the darkness of lies to the light of truth is quite painful but worthy even compared to that pain or more!
for that reason I'm saying it's happy First of all, its not the ending. I'm sorry to disappoint you ^^;
You'll be reading 2 more chapters
I don't like ending my stories just by realizing
And I agree with you on the happy ending, that is if it really ended here with chapter 5 ^^;


The language is of someone professional masha'alla (I honestly like it )
the description , the wonderings of her at last is all admirable Thanks, merci, arigatou and Shukria for the nice words ^///^
I feel flattered


and there is some misspelled wordsIs it the word "week". If so then yeah I did a mistake
It was supposed to be "weak". Sorry for that. I'll correct it
If there are others, please tell me


do not forget that I'm waiting a full criticism about mineI will after I finish it and re-read it again

Thanks for commenting and spending your time to read my story



lol ... last thing ... you are a teacher after all ^^""" how ++++ no comment lol
who knows ... may be i am gonna end with teaching after all -___-"""
Huh? so does that mean you didn't believe I was a teacher up until now?
And no comment, huh?
Stand up!
lol teacher student relationship ^__~
Some students hate to be told to stand up in the middle of the lesson even if they were the ones at wrong
I know of another way to make them behave well instead of standing up
Anyway, Insha'Allah you'll become a teacher soon and together, you and I, can share our
sad and happy moments =)


it's my honor to read and analysis with youThe honor is all mine, my lady~


that's reminds me of " the theory of the cave " by Plato c'mon you are very smart to include such a thing like thisHmm never read this theory. I'll check on it


we have to write a daily report about every class
so today i read mine and it was ... hhhhhh the truth
i said to him i didn't understand a word from you
he was happy for being so honest ... ^^"" Not even a word?
I understand his feelings. He must be in agony right now
Its true that honestly is a nice thing, but it hurts
Our students are our responsibilities....wait this seems a cool sentence
I might begin writing a story about students and teachers
Yeah a wonderful idea. Thanks Naro-chan =)
You gave me a magnificent plot for my next next story


even i will repeat my first thank in my first post here .... to that thing lolI wonder what that thing is....so suspicious <__< >__>
I wonder more on why do you refuse telling me


btw i am around 20 ... not young not old Ara? kawaii...such a young girl


i will wait for another work from you ... don't forget i am waiting
Allah with you I'll try my best to complete my new story. Now I'm at chapter 3
and I have a hunch that I'll give up middle way

Thanks to all who commented and read my story even without posting a comment
and thanks for sending me msgs. I'm sorry I can't reply to them
I'm trying my best to stick here and post till I reach the specific amount of posts
so I can reply to you all
Please bear with me and my sad, gloomy stories ^^;

ÃÓãÜÜÜÇÁ
12-10-2010, 01:33 PM
It's Ok , No bothering at all
I'de rather become more excited to know what will come next
It just feels like an ending and like everything was cleared up

.......
waiting for your real end ^^

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
14-10-2010, 11:32 AM
It's Ok , No bothering at all
I'de rather become more excited to know what will come next
It just feels like an ending and like everything was cleared up

.......
waiting for your real end ^^


Thanks for waiting and also for keeping on reading
I hope the ending won't disappoint you

http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/7999/blackdot6.jpg

Chapter 6 has been added
Sorry I had lots of trouble
PS. I'll be absent for days
Insha'Allah I'll finish chapter 7 and also the last chapter soon

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
21-10-2010, 10:59 AM
The final chapter of the story has been added

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/3189/blackdot7.jpg
Chapter 7

I see people got bored a lil with it
I don't blame you. I'm the one who's stalling after all -___-
sorry for the long story
Hope you'll enjoy reading it

Naro-chan
21-10-2010, 05:09 PM
ahhh
i thought it has finished yet i am wrong as usual
two new chapters ^^" ahhh

but that's good news anyway
i read the 6th chapter first


so can you let me comment as usual ?

a black dot
oooooooh full of symbols
a black dot what does it stand for ?
what it can do ?
in the ocean ? in the world ? in the universe ?

^^"""
okay ... another repetition ... he came
I remembered asking you ... who is he
now i can realize who is him
that man
who seeks for happiness for her sake
he knows alot about her ... yet he wants to help her
but why ?
is it only because she reminds him of his passed .... some dots ... away daughter

in the 1st chapter there was this conversation
now i can understand why she answers in that way
a person who has lost every thing and does not have any thing
...
but in a moment why she pretends to be strong ... does she fells embarrassed about her currently state or what ?
then in another moment she changes her mind and gets along with his speaking
...
a last thing
i am not calling you ;)
doesn't she how a father is
?
that's makes me thinking about her childhood and her life in-general when she was a human being


okay ... i am saying to you salam atm
may be next day i am gonna carry on reading
isA

so long
last thing

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
21-10-2010, 08:08 PM
NAROOOO-CHAN!!~ been a long time
How have you been? how's uni and life there?


ahhh
i thought it has finished yet i am wrong as usual
two new chapters ^^" ahhh
I was planning on making it contain of 8 chapters or maybe 9
but somehow I ended it with only 7 chapters
You don't know how sad I was when I realized I'm at the end
^^; sounds strange, huh, but please bear with me



a black dot
oooooooh full of symbols
a black dot what does it stand for ?
what it can do ?
in the ocean ? in the world ? in the universe ?
I was referring the Chosen as a black dot
Everyone has a dark and bright side, ne? but when the dark side overcomes the bright side
what happns?



okay ... another repetition ... he came
I remembered asking you ... who is he
now i can realize who is him
that man
who seeks for happiness for her sake
he knows alot about her ... yet he wants to help her
but why ?
is it only because she reminds him of his passed .... some dots ... away daughter He was anonymous at first and even though I wanted to identify him, but I ended up making him
a stranger till the end. I failed in this =___=
As for why, its because she looked like her daughter and for another reason...
Which is what I intentionally didn't tell because from the first beginning I wanted
to make a side story where you can read his own story and what happened exactly
from his own point of view.
Yeah, I'm still writing



but in a moment why she pretends to be strong ... does she fells embarrassed about her currently state or what ?
then in another moment she changes her mind and gets along with his speaking
Rather than embarrassed, I'd say stubbornness.
You know how it feels when you know that you took the wrong choice and ended up
being stalked by a strange person who wants to see you down or even defeated
over what you chose...
How would you feel? will you show him your weakness? or will you even put that
break like impression on your face?
I doubt anyone will. And sometimes the shock of learning the truth can lead you to hallucination.
To fight the entire town people is difficult. In the end
she had to ask for help.



a last thing
i am not calling you ;)Haha, you see how popular my name is. I bet everyone in this forum called me
well once in their life....


doesn't she how a father is
?
that's makes me thinking about her childhood and her life in-general when she was a human beingThat's my second failure...I didn't described enough about her family member
but yeah, her father rarely cares about her



okay ... i am saying to you salam atm
may be next day i am gonna carry on reading
isA
What's "atm"? what's "isA"?
Insha'Allah you'll like the ending. If not do tell me the negative points and
I'll try to change it and make the story even better
Don't hold your tongue sweety ~.^
Hope to see you soon

Naro-chan
22-10-2010, 10:54 AM
NAROOOO-CHAN!!~ been a long time
How have you been? how's uni and life there?

hi hi ... lastyy
i am fine ... Alhmdule Allah
and you : ) ??



What's "atm"? what's "isA"?lol ... cuz i am talking Eng at my facebook ... we used to use short forms of words
atm : at the/this moment
isA : in sha' Allah
^^"" crazy , do we ? hh

okay i read the last part
T____T
it's a nice story , indeed
he in the last ... Sacrifices his life in the sake of her
to live in hopes like any man ( human being ) who wanna live
i don't have a lot to say
but ... through her experience i can say ... she was suffering a lot
being a chosen is only a fake false hope
... she realizes the truth too late
so there should be
Sacrifices
..
i am so touched
thanks a lot my sis last thing whose name is very famous


... a last thing
be aware am not calling you
... two days ago ... a poetry teacher said he spent 2 years in searching about his Ph.D topic which was about writing as a woman '
he said every one was shocked about the result that a woman can write better than men even better T. S. Eliot
^^
NOW I can believe him

keep writing and i will cheer for you
isA
^^""

with my best wishes :) to u

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
22-10-2010, 06:23 PM
[CENTER]hi hi ... lastyy
i am fine ... Alhmdule Allah
and you : ) ??
Glad to see your doing well
Same here, plus I've caught a cold =____=



lol ... cuz i am talking Eng at my facebook ... we used to use short forms of words
Heeh, facebook. What's your name there? you must give me!


he in the last ... Sacrifices his life in the sake of her
How did you concluded that he sacrificed himself? I didn't say that
All I said is that they waited for him, but he didn't show up


... two days ago ... a poetry teacher said he spent 2 years in searching about his Ph.D topic which was about writing as a woman '
he said every one was shocked about the result that a woman can write better than men even better T. S. Eliot
^^
NOW I can believe him
Lol, I did hear this, but till now I doubt it
Compared to Joseph Conrad, I'm no match of him
I wish to write novels the way he do

Thanks for commenting and cheering me up
Its an honor to have a reader like you
I wish for you too best of luck in this life and the hereafter
Good luck Naro-chan

Naro-chan
22-10-2010, 07:28 PM
Same here, plus I've caught a cold =____=
oh . get healthy soon
^^


Heeh, facebook. What's your name there? you must give me!
lol
my real name of course
^^"" guess what
okay i'll send you if you wanna


How did you concluded that he sacrificed himself? I didn't say that
All I said is that they waited for him, but he didn't show up

hmm , i think so cuz , he was about to help her
he pretend to be the chosen instead of her ? i remember i read that lol
so i said that
may be
or may be not
pardon me ... doing the research paper makes the one hallucinate
^^""


Lol, I did hear this, but till now I doubt it
Compared to Joseph Conrad, I'm no match of him
I wish to write novels the way he do
ah ... i forget to put " my " before a poet teacher
... but believe me you deserve best of best

^^"""

ÇÎÑ ÔíÁ
24-10-2010, 05:39 PM
oh . get healthy soon
^^
Awww thanks


okay i'll send you if you wanna
Hmm your real name. Masaka....Bu-
I won't jump to conclusions. Send it, onegaishimasu~


hmm , i think so cuz , he was about to help her
he pretend to be the chosen instead of her ? i remember i read that lol
so i said that
Sugoi! Sugoi yo!
T^T *sniff* I'm sooooooo lucky to have someone like you
You understood it without me saying it. I'm so proud of you TT^TT