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مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ I.:.So .:.Lay.:.Shin ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ



Naro-chan
25-10-2010, 05:55 PM
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v505/MCsam/yhh.gif




peace be upon every one , and may Allah bless you
how is life going here ?
I ask Allah help and guide every one to the right way in the life
...

they are moments . when we can't go on anymore
even we use our final breath
but
no breath is gonna come out for our sake
..
Yeah , I am writing right now because in any moment I am gonna make loud boom

I gathered my emotions , ideas , and my body
to think together ... how we can face those troubles
but no thing comes yet an isolation

lol ... what a crabby long intro




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v505/MCsam/30.gif




In an isolation , only a single sound , tick , tack , tock
Piles of dust everywhere , sneaking into my breath
And no single sign but , a sigh with , tick , tack , tock



A transparent melody got through my dry eyes
Made them shed tears , and I ain't I
Everything was upside down for a while
Again wind spread its dust with a , tick , tack , tock rhyme


From where ?I shouted screamingly
My ears couldn't bear or hear a sad melody
Isolation __ Silence __ Horrify
The tick , tack , tock raised badly

More closure , more ... till I
Caught its head but I
Cried loudly for its hurting side
Bit by bit I heard by my ears tick , tack , tock


It was so near , yet I was so deaf
Every single thing stopped for my dear
A blooded house thumping bimp , bamp , bomp
For its isolation ,,,it was only a heart with tick , tack , tock


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v505/MCsam/30.gif

....



ah ... relieved
hmmm you might say there is something wrong with this girl , or ... how nonsense all of this
:)
An isolation ... it's a best place to be for moments ... to be with your own ... to think how will you go on
it's only a place for a break .... to continue life
: )


S A L A M

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v505/MCsam/yhh.gif

اخر شيء
26-10-2010, 05:49 PM
Peace be upon you my dear Naro-chan
What a fabulous lines you've wrote
The "tick, tack, tock" really grabbed my attention
I was wondering where does this sound come from and
at the end it was only..... ^^ kinda relieved
Such wonderful words from an amazing poetess =)

Only one line which confused me
Caught uts head but I
I wonder, what does "uts" mean? or is it a typo? ^__^

Hoping to see more from you
Keep up going forward
Good luck >.<=b

Naro-chan
27-10-2010, 07:09 AM
Peace be upon you my dear Naro-chan
What a fabulous lines you've wrote
The "tick, tack, tock" really grabbed my attention
I was wondering where does this sound come from and
at the end it was only..... ^^ kinda relieved
Such wonderful words from an amazing poetess =)

Only one line which confused me
Caught uts head but I
I wonder, what does "uts" mean? or is it a typo? ^__^

Hoping to see more from you
Keep up going forward
Good luck >.<=b


lol
be in this state and just work your all sense
so even you can't hear anything
you gonna create this sound

and (uts) lol ... sorry
this the keyboard mistake
not me
i'll fix it now
: )
thnx 4 commenting hny
HG


and thnx alot for eveyone press on thnx button

mohbaboo
27-10-2010, 03:25 PM
amazing
I can't express how I felt reading this piece
but, I know one thing
I believe the feelings from withing the words had reached us
.
.
.
with a BOOM

thank you a lot

P E I N
27-10-2010, 06:02 PM
السلام عليكم ورحمة اللهـ وبركاتهـ

pretty good

even thought I did not read it completely

but I notice a little mistake at comments


I can't express how I felt reading this piece

U can rephrase this clause like this

I can't express how I felt when I'd read this piece

^_^

sorry about that

but I can't pass a mistake without correct it << big liar

for your knowledge , there's a lot of mistakes in this section

Naro-chan
27-10-2010, 06:27 PM
amazing
I can't express how I felt reading this piece
but, I know one thing
I believe the feelings from withing the words had reached us
.
.
.
with a BOOM

thank you a lot


lol
after every silence ... gonna be BOOM
lol
thnx brother alot for this nice comment
: )

Naro-chan
27-10-2010, 06:35 PM
السلام عليكم ورحمة اللهـ وبركاتهـ


و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله تعالى و بركاته


pretty good

thnx a lot





I can't express how I felt reading this piece


U can rephrase this clause like this

I can't express how I felt when I'd read this piece

lol ... i bet you don't know the Adverbial Modifying Phrase technique
lol
in which you change the full clause into a phrase
so the 1st is true
and yours is true



for your knowledge , there's a lot of mistakes in this section
c'mon ... we all learners ... and all are human btw
:)
thanx for ur nice critical comment
have a nice day

mohbaboo
27-10-2010, 07:02 PM
I can't express how I felt reading this piece

I can't express how I felt when I'd read this piece

I can't express how I felt when I was reading this piece

I can't express how I felt while I was reading this piece

I can't express how I felt reading this piece

^^^^
there's nothing wrong with each one of them
all of them are correct depending on specific aspects in the writer's mind

sorry Naro-chan
but, I had to clarify this

thanks again

Naro-chan
27-10-2010, 07:36 PM
I can't express how I felt reading this piece

I can't express how I felt when I'd read this piece

I can't express how I felt when I was reading this piece

I can't express how I felt while I was reading this piece

I can't express how I felt reading this piece

^^^^
there's nothing wrong with each one of them
all of them are correct depending on specific aspects in the writer's mind

sorry Naro-chan
but, I had to clarify this

thanks again



lol ... i miss grammar days
it's okay brother
the most important thing is to get the right information
btw i mentioned the name of this rule above

: )

P E I N
28-10-2010, 11:31 PM
يآآآآه ، آسف جزيلاً على الملاحظة الخطأ

I Don't know why I'm very stupid to get involved with mohbaboo

I'm playin' with the wrong man << like they said

•♦•♦•♦•♦•

I can't express how I felt reading u're posts

I'm very sorry Guys

and , I have to be more carefull next time

AND U " NARUTO_CHAN (http://www.msoms-anime.net/member.php?u=1196872)"

U piss me off , this is the 1st time I heard about it ;] z

at all , a new iformation added to my grammers dictionary

by the way , what does " btw " mean ? x

Naro-chan
28-10-2010, 11:56 PM
GRRRR
I am gonna all banana
my name isn't
" NARUTO_CHAN"
but Naro-chan
^^""
انسانة نرجسية : )
from Ghost Hunt
...
okay it's okay anyway
the most you get right information the most you gonna be better in Languages
...
btw : by the way
: )

hope to see you around more

lolleta
10-11-2010, 09:14 PM
tich tich tich

can i be in ??o

if u wrote this song while isolaysion .. then it'll be fact
that .. the islaysion makes talent

they say .. the best moments when u be among people & friends
but i say ..the best of the best .. is to be with my own

isolaysion is another world for me
i can say .. time of silence .. time of relax.. time of meditation

....
time for my self

>>>>>
naro- chun

thanks for reminding me with the small cave i have forgetten
between concerns of life