Ghost Island Story Of Mine

http://images.msoms-anime.com/20/7bc...c1b1e02fb6.jpg

Hi every one this is my first story of my fabrication I hope all of u will love it

Characters:1-kyto kidhttp://images.msoms-anime.com/18/3cd...e7e6378b32.png

2-http://images.msoms-anime.com/20/49e...7776b7404d.jpg The Assasin

3- Azuma http://images.msoms-anime.com/21/ef2...4f4c43b639.jpg>>>>sorry azuma I did not know what coclor u prefer so I chose green
4-Miss Cloud http://images.msoms-anime.com/7/db27...3bce94e78e.gif>>>after ur premission miss cloud can I took anick name for u like M.Cloudy
5-Canarioodhttp://images.msoms-anime.com/46/9ad...d03c1e3761.gif
6- Miss Eima http://images.msoms-anime.com/2/65ba...05f7286cb0.jpg>>>Can I took anick name for u miss eima like only Eima >>please miss eima u may think that u have alittle role but ur role will be showned in a good way
NOTE:SORRY FOR EVERY ONE THAT I DON’T MENTIONED I MENTIONED WHOM MUCH SEE IN THIS DEPARTMENT

The story

GHOST ISLAND
There are 6 brothers and sisters live together in house
Kyto Kid:a boy that love imaginary things and want a world full of peace
Assasin:big brother for them and care for others a lot and love to help them
Azuma:sceintific girl like invention and can correct descision in hard times
M.Cloudy:kind girl love raising up animals and care for them
Canariood:a boy that believe only real things made of solid material he always laught at what kyto think >in other words he man of reality like conan he always said there is only one truth
Eima:mysterious girl she doesn’t say what in her heart but alaws kyto feels that she hide an important ting

So those brothers and sisters live together happily
One day
M.Cloudy:wake up everybody that is morning >>said this while she throw us with water
Kyto kid:oooooh I have abeautiful dream u r so annoying sister
Assasin:yes sister let our kyto peaceful >>also who would help me in making food >>looking to ward Azuma and Canariood
Azuma:In ur dreams brother I have a sceintific experiment help ur self in your food hahaha
Canariood:hoy I am with u brother I will help u
Assasin:what about u kyto and Miss Cloudy
M.cloudy:what do u think ? of course I will feed my little cute cat it is important than all of u ha ha ha
Azuma:no I need kyto I will try my experiment on him will u kyto>>>
Kyto:yeah of course sister why not >>
Canariood:ok lets go assasin
Kyto in the laboratory with Azuma>>

Azuma:don’t afraid little kyto I will just make u like conan I will diminish ur size
Kyto in himself:she thought that his experiment is correct hehe
Azuma:lets begin
“kyto brothers “ it was a voice came to kyto in his mind
Kyto:wait Azuma I thimk I heard Eima voice
Azuma:u may imagine like always
Kyto:no this is real I think she said it in fear way
Kyto>>looking from the window see Eima walk to sea
Kyto:no look Azuma she is going to ward the island
Assasin:what is happened why u scream
Miss cloudy:yes our sis is going to the island lets catch her
The five brothers ran out of house in follow oh their sister
Canariood:Eimaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Eima:Go back to safe my brothers I will go alone
Assasin:no why u leave
Eima:I cant explain and she disappear
Kyto:damn she enter the forbidden place the ghost of island
Canariood:there is no ghosts in our world didinot u understand
Assasin:what ever that island contain I will bring Eima back
Miss cloudy through her tears:yes I love her more than my cats
Azuma:don’t cry lets do aplan to catch her what is your opinions are with me I promise u that I will help u with my intelligence to help her
Assasin:and I promise that I will help her with all of my powers
Canariood:of course I am with u with my conlusions

M.Cloudy:and with my dog I will follow her according to smell
Kyto:hehehe I think that I cant offer something here
The brothers and sisters put there hands together

And from here the story began>>




CHAPTER 2

Island in 1525:
http://images.msoms-anime.com/32/8f8...f4601c154c.jpg

All citizens were going to court to attend the important event.
At this time they were used to kill witches and wizards ,there was acute little girle called Mary accused of being witch.
The judge :what do u say about that u r awitch?
The girl just smile in amean way and look into the eyes http://images.msoms-anime.com/28/fe4...3e9adfe395.jpgof the judge with heart full of hate
The judge feared from that behaviour and said:we announce that we find u guilty http://images.msoms-anime.com/18/8bf...15bdf39bfd.jpgand we will burn u in fire
The girl:I will never die haha
The guards took the girl for her death and decide to burn her in front of the crowd ,the fire rise and rise and the girl screamed from pain and people swear that they hear like an evil voice said “you judge on ur island and the following generations will pay for it “and from this time strange things happened in the island and people became to leave until there is no one remain.http://images.msoms-anime.com/3/3975...8c1860fbce.jpg
Azuma:is there any thing els Assasin?
Assasin:no this is only what written in the book
Canariood:u don’t believe that don’t u?
Azuma:but in physics science said that ghosts may be formed due to electrical charges.
M.cloudy:yes and they say that animals like dogs feel them
Kyto:yes and I read this in story
Assasin look to kyto in this way
Assasin:now we will begin our journey to save our sister and everyone will follow my order for ur safety
The five enter the island and after awhile they saw on left side of island atrain but it seems to be old and didn’t work.they came close to the trainhttp://images.msoms-anime.com/5/2d5c...39482e9574.jpg
Assasin:now we will mark our way with that train,so we can avoid being lost.
Azuma:ok I will help in marking please help me in putting this glassy ball as mech as we can along the train.
Kyto:but how it can help us?
Canariood:I got it .look carefully at these balls their color is phosphour so they can like lamps when dark came.
Miss Cloud:awesome ,ok I will share in help by making my dog follow my piece of cips that I will put along the way from thetrain to the place we reach so we cannot get lost if we go far away from the train for any reason ..
Assasin:well well .lets continue our way
While they were walking ,suddenly Assasin stopped.
Assasian:Wait for me I saw something minutes and I will come back
Assasin walk alone but there was smoke everywhere but not harmful just make seeing is dificult
Assasin:who is there?
Aperson appeared and became in his sight
Assasin:Eima oh thank god we find u finally
Eima:hi brother I wanna tell u important thing
Assasin:what is it Eima?
Eima:You shuoldnt trust …
Azuma appeared suddenly
Azuma:hey Assasin I just find Eima
Eima:run away brother she is not Azuma
Assasin:what do u mean?
Azuma:Assasin where r u ?
The voice of her came far away
Assasin:oh no…he fast use his match and make afire to wardAzuma suddenly Azuma dissapear and for his surprise Eima also disappear .
The other came to ward Assasin
M.cloudy:what hppened?
Assasin:I think the old story is true…
End of chapter I wanna ur opinion about faults in the story please for give me if I miss in speeling or grammer

Chapter 3

Assasin said,“After meeting a person looks like Azuma I think to avoid in a mistake with a ghost similar to us we just need…“Codes”,Canariood said interrupting Assasin.
Assasin smiled and said”yes that is right.“Codes .and what is that supposed to mean?”kyto wondered.
“Assasin means we have to choose things between us we just onlyknow so we can recognize each other easily.”
Azuma explained.
“so what about using numbers?”M.cloud suggested.
“Nice idea”,Assasin said.
M,Cloud said”ok my number will be 4”
Azuma said”my number will be 2”
“MY number will be 1 and for kyto 3”Assasin said.
“my number will be 5 “Canariood said.
Azuma said in a funny way “what about a hug betweeneach other?”….”Haha a hug for what ?”Kyto laughed.
“I said a hug”,Azuma said as if she would kill them if theydid not obey her….”ok .ok lets hug,”M.cloud said in a quietway.
They hug each other but Assasin noticed that Azuma hugged their brothers and sister with more violence.
“so u also noticed that”Canariood said to Assasin.
“yes but I think because she is frightened”Assasin said
“Ok everybody lets go and continue our journey “Assasin said.
“Yes brother may be you are right and may be you are not”Canariood said this to himself.
The five continued their way and after few minutes they stopped.
‘we need water now so we can continue ..we need to separate into 2 groups searching for a water well “Assasin said
“ok me and M.cloud will be in agroup we will be 3 ifyou count her dog”kyto said…Canariood said”ok letsgo Assasin and Azuma”..
“Wait kyto take these fire works with you ,use them if you face a dangerous situation “Azuma said .
five were separated searching The for water.

Kyto walked with M.cloud and after few minutes”look lets take this way,M.cloud”,kyto said
“ok , mr know everything”M.cloud said
They walked for few meters and after and suddenlyM.CLOUD said”look,here is a water well ,finally we find water”
But kyto did not answer as he was not beside her.
“oh where is that stupid I swear he play around ,ok I will go and get water”
M.cloud approached to the water Well and suddenly she saw Azuma.
“Azuma what did you do here where is the others”M.cloud asked
“They go to do something why don’t you come and help me”Azuma said in quiet voice.
“Wait I cant be cheated you are not Azuma”,M.cloud said
“What are you talking about of course I am Azuma”Azuma said in a surprise ..
“but my dog was shaking he is afraid ok to be absolute what is your number”M.cloud asked Azuma
Azuma smiled and said”my number is 2”
“oh thank god you are really Azuma”M.cloud and she seems to be happy.
“ok join me and help”,Azuma smiled to her sister
“I am back where are you M.cloud”,kyto said,suddenly he saw the well and his sister M.cloud and a girl he never see
talking to M.cloud And he saw M.cloud Approach to the girl.

http://www.dvdinmypants.com/features...mages/r_r3.jpg

“oh no M.cloud don’t get closer to her she may be aghost”
Kyto shouted
The girl look toward kyto and smile in a weird way and M.cloud seems not to hear kyto
“oh I think the girl control M.cloud ..what shall I do?”kyto repeated several times ..

The other 3 Azuma and Assasin and Canariood walked for few minutes and found adepressed place ,they descend to it,they walk for awhile and heard asound of dogs came closer.
“may be it is M.cloud with her dog”.Azuma said
“No she is not”Assasin said while he was looking upward
There were 6 wild dogs made a circle a round them ,preventing them from coming up from the depressed place.
“we need M.cloud now”canariood shouted.
“yes we should use fire works “Azuma said.

Back to kyto..
“I think I would use the fire work to get help”kyto said.

Azuma launched arocket to make fire in the sky to be noticed and also kyto did at the same time ,,from the two places kyto saw the fire works of Assasin Groups and Azuma ,Assasin and Canariood saw the fire works of Kyto and M.cloud

http://www.fireworks4all.com/img/fireworks.jpg

“I think we are in serious trouble”Assasin said and sweated from his head..

Chapter 4

The dogs were roaring like lions and Azuma,Canariood ,Assasin were near to certain death ."i have an idea "said Assasin."what is that idea hurry "Azuma said quickly to Assasin

“Assasin wanna to help u escape and help kyto and M.cloud “Canariood interrupting them
“yes that is right we will help u Azuma and u should rescue M.cloud and Kyto we know that u can do that so prepare yourself and be ready on my mark “Assasin said
“canariood are you ready”
“yes brother lets do this”Canariood said
Assasin took a knife from canariood and hurt make a cut in his hand and in canariood hands and put the blood on piece of cloth and wrapped the cloth around a stick and lift the stick up ..Dogs began to be more mad because of the smell of the blood ..
“take this sister”canariood handed his sister something like olympic torch …”use it if dogs came near to u”..http://www.topnews.in/sports/files/Olympic-Torch.jpg

Canariood and Assasin began to move toward the dogs and the dogs began to follow the smell of blood
“now ,Azuma”Assasin shouted to his sister.
Azuma ran fast as she could and looked behind her with tears on her cheek because she left her brothers..
Azuma ran fast and suddenly Mis Eima appeared in the sky ..
“wait sister there something important u should know”mis eima said
“what is it eima where are you why dont you just came back with us we suffered a lot because we want you back”Azuma said while she was crying
“I cant tell you my dear sister all I can tell you refresh your memory and you will know the truth and the one who….”said mis eima but she vanished and did not continue her words.
Azuma found herself in front of kyto and kyto surprised to see her
“how could you escape from do….”kyto cut his words quickly.
“not ur business now where is M.cloud”said Azuma.
Kyto pointed to M.cloud and the girl..
The girl began to hug M.cloud to steal her soul. Azuma from his pocket bring up a small set and press a button.
M.cloud like she was awakened and she surprised of the girl she fell to ground because of her fear And quickly Azuma Fire one of kytos fire work and shot it toward the girl so the girl disappeared quickly .kyto and Azuma ran toward M.cloud and they helped her in standing .
“what did you do with that set ?”kyto asked Azuma.
“not time for explaining.,,M.cloud I think we need help of your dog”Azuma said while they were running to their brothers
When they arrived it seems that the situation is so bad to their brothers as dogs were near to kill them .”now sweet dog”M.cloud released the dog and the dog approached to the other dogs and they seem that there is conversation in unknown language after awhile the dogs ran away .”oh thanks god”canariood and Assasin said ..
“so don’t you explain to me how did you make M.cloud awaken.
“electrical shocker that what I noticed and also canriood..” Assasin explained “a shocker what strange invention do u have “kyto laughed ..Azuma looked to ward kyto in anger..
“but really useful”kyto continue ..

“now lets continue our way “M.cloud said
“ok but careful in walk because vision is little impossible “Canariood said
“oh no the train I cant see it “kyto shouted.
“where is the lights I cant see any of my lamps”Azuma wondered.
“let your dog M.cloud follow the chips”Assasin.
“what do you think chips are over ..i did not expect that we would go so far “M.cloud said in deperate.
Assasin said”brothers and sisters I think we face danger of lost in that island”
Azuma cried “so it is big certain of death,small chance to success”.


[/spoiler]


[spoiler="Chapter 5"]

Chapter 5

“any way we have no choice except looking for our sister Eima”kyto said.

“ok but from now please be careful coz we must not separate in such situation” Assasin ordered.

While they were walking Azuma began to remember what Eima said to her .

{“wait sister there something important u should know” Eima said
“I cant tell you my dear sister all I can tell you refresh your memory and you will know the truth and the one who….”said Eima but she vanished and did not continue her words.}

Azuma began to remember how her life sister was :

Azuma memory

{{Azuma remembered that she was jealous when she know that her mother was pregnant as she want to be the only girl in the family to have special care but when Eima came to the world the feeling of jealous disappeared and she became very happy when she saw young Eima however …but days after days her mother was very ill for unknown cause and she remembered that Eima before the night of her mother death Eima was putting her hand on the face of her mother while she was sleeping but Azuma did not care for that …}}

http://images.msoms-anime.com/39/22e...23085fcd41.jpg

“hey there is a cave over here “kyto shouted cutting Azuma thoughts

“wow nice visual acuity” M.cloud said

“ok lets go then “Assasin said

Azuma returns to her thoughts {{she remembered that Eima always stand out side the house at night and looking to the stars and when Azuma asked her why she always do this something http://images.msoms-anime.com/2/dbbe...107911e077.gif

Eima answered “Coz I want to see the beauty of the world at night before destroying of human being “

Azuma did not care as she thought that her sister was a little strange .

She also rememberd the the time when she was going down the stairs at night to have a cup of water she saw kyto and Eima in the room talking together

Kyto said in low voice “I cant do this I will not obey you any more”

Eima answered”really brother you know what can I do to u “

Kyto said”I am not afraid any more you want me to do adangerous thing”

Eima said”well well Now I ordered you to read this forbidden words and put your hand on my head to release my soul from this mortal body so I could control the world with my power”

Kyto said and he became very angry”you are just rediculouse”

Azuma did not continue watching and also did not care .

Azuma begin to realize that they were near a great danger and when she was awake from this thoughts she found herself and her brothers and sister inside the cave

Azuma said “wait everybody I think we are in trouble I think Eima is controlled by Mary souls “

“what do you mean?”Assasin asked

“it is a trap is not it?”M.cloud said.

“haha sorry but you are late in your conclusion”a female voice said this.

Suddenly a big rock fall and block the way to out side.

“who is there?”Azuma asked.

A girl come out and become in their visual field “Welcome brothers and sisters.”Eima said while she was smiling in strange way ..

Chapter 6 “The End”

“Eima lets go to home that is enough” said Assasin

“so her name is Eima ,let me tell you something I controlled your Eima “ said Eima..

“and thanks to kyto in that coz I will kill all of you now”,Eima continued ..

They all look to kyto in a surprise

“you kyto?”,M.cloud said as if she did not believe.

“ha ha yes stupid sisters and brothers and you did not notice that I am betraying you “said kyto..

Canariood said,”how could we know bastard”
“don’t call me in that way “,kyto shouted..
“ok but I will refresh you memories”,said kyto in a calm way..
“no I remember I forget that you know that dogs attack me , Assasin and canariood although you are far away ”Azuma said sadly .
“damn I forget that you saw the cave although the visual is impossible
“,Assasin confirmed..
“well well how lovely conversation but really I begin to be bored “Eima said
“kyto now please kill them with your gun”Eima ordered kyto..
Kyto raised the gun and prepare to shot them all ..
“haha stupid brother now there are no bullets tell me how you will shot”,Assasin smiled….
“we will see”kyto said ..he tried to fill the gun with new bullets but Azuma blind him with light of her torch..
“now go”M.cloud ordered her dog to attack kyto and the dog managed to disturb kyto balance and kyto fall immediately..
Kyto said while he was lying on the ground,,”how did you know Assasin”
“I know from the first time before Eima left us that there is something between you and Eima and saw you read latin words from book of wizard on Eima and know that you made her what she is now so when she left I let you to do what you want because I know that you will lead us to Eima “Assasin said..
“yes and we know that once we separate to look for water you will try to kill M.cloud so we agree separation to let Eima appear “Azuma said..
“now here is the gun in my hand “said canariood..”and here is my dogfeels hungry”said M.cloud..
Assasin said”so you would better choose the way we will kill you or…”
“you realesed the cursed seal from Eima “Azuma continued..
“oh so how could you read the released words on me as I will let you”Eima wondered ..
“we all ready caught you “Azuma smiled
“what”eima said and looking below her she saw small robots trying to catch her ..she tried to escape
“bad desicison”Assasin said and throw a rope like cow boy and hold Eima ..
Canariood looked to kyto and kyto understood he approached to Eima that was still screaming to release herself from the rope ..
Kyto began to read the words and Eima screamed ..suddenly black spirits began to release from Eima ..and suddenly one of these spirits attacked kyto and cut off his head and everything vanished quickly as it begins..
“oh kyto brother”they all screamed but they knew that is the fate of betrayal…
Eima began to wake “where am i??”
Azuma smiled “you are safe honey you are safe now”..
“so I think to get out of here we should follow this river to find our way coz this side is blocked “Assasin said ..
The 5 walked:eima ,azuma.assasin.m.cloud,and canariood..
The clouds began to disappear and everything became clear and the train appeared again they followed the way and reach home safely..
“ok from tomorrow we will leave to London after Eima s cure to forget these bad memory”assasin said..
http://images.msoms-anime.com/5/c068...1e1e8f4ac0.jpg

On the next day they took the train to London and bought a house in beautiful place ….
At midnight ,,Azuma Assasin ,canariood and M.cloud woke on a strange sound ..it was coming from the the old room in the house and there was a light coming from it
They enter the room very carefully and suddenly the door behind them closed and Eima appeared smiling in a mean way..but not only that she hold 4 strange big creatures with series in their neck..
“really you are all fools you think the poor kyto was the reason for that ,I am who make all this I tried and managed to become a witch to control the world and all what I do is to make you think that kyto was the reason for that but I just controlled him and make him to read the stupid Latin words but there is no effect of Latin words because I am completely a witch ,,I tricked you “ Eima said..
“so why you did not kill us in the cave “Azuma asked.
“because you are the card to the world to spread my dark magic and to control the world and now these creatures are hungry and I think YOU guess who is the food” Eima said..

“This is the last things written in Azuma memorys as the police found it when they found blood 3 days from the accident ..”,, said the mother to her son ..
“So do you love the story honey “,,the mother said …
“of course mother but is this real story”said son
“of course not honey so sleep well and happy dreams”,,said the mother.. the mother start to leave the room when a small paper fell from the book ….

The young boy took the paper and read it
“The book is cursed by my sisters soul for every one who listen to what written in it not to whom read it”
“haha what a silly thing my mother was right”.the boy laughed.
Suddenly he heard a sound from behind when he looked he found young girl her eyes turned into red ..
“silly things always are true young boy”said Eima and she was laughing in scary way and the night end by a scream of young boy that no one heard …

The End

DO U WANNA ME CONTINUE THE STORY AND KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO EIMA AND TO US TELL ME AND I WILL WRITE CHAPTER 2

this is mine
brb for my comment
Brother., nice and damn good story,
but thing is, you have to expand the story,
like discribe more, visulise things more..
and natter the story with ur touch..
i like the way of the story
u have to mix ur story with sadness and happiness
and u have to mix some lines like tricky things
..in other words, u do something and make us
wondering what will happend next..
so i'm waiting, and i do like the chracters ..
another thing, why don't u put a photo for the ghost
island and discribe it...
so we can get along with u
..
sorry man for this super-sonic reply
pls: avoid spilling anf gramatical mistake ^^"

woooooooow
hahahahaha
what a marvelous idea you have got
wonderful ...^^
definitely wonderful
you make us look as charecters in a an anime or something like that
your idea is amazing and aloso the story is exciting ...i love it
let us see ... you made me the smart one
well Kyto i'm not that evil to make you small like conan
may be if you were
small i will bring you a remedy to get your real size
hahaha
really interesting
coman our brother the assassin do something ,,,poor Emi...
complete Kyto i wanna know what happened to the six lovely brothers
beautiful adventure is waiting for us it seems

by the way if you could change my colore into..let us see ..orange is not rapeated you can use it

thank you so much
continue hurry up

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة the Assassin

this is mine
brb for my comment
Brother., nice and damn good story,
but thing is, you have to expand the story,
like discribe more, visulise things more..
and natter the story with ur touch..
i like the way of the story
u have to mix ur story with sadness and happiness
and u have to mix some lines like tricky things
..in other words, u do something and make us
wondering what will happend next..
so i'm waiting, and i do like the chracters ..
another thing, why don't u put a photo for the ghost
island and discribe it...
so we can get along with u
..
sorry man for this super-sonic reply
pls: avoid spilling anf gramatical mistake ^^"

---

yes he is right as the wise brother
so, if you add what he said the story would be waaaaw coool
continue ...can't wait ^^Icon22

thanks so much assasin for ur sweet reply and ur preciouse advice

azuma thanks aslo for ur sweet reply and about ur request of course the orange will be for u and wait the next chapter i think i can complete it tomorrow evening

so wait for meicon79

kyto kid
Icon-clab0what a suprise
icon152i realy realy realy like it
and of corse no please CONTINUE THE STORY
i wanna know what happent
Icon33

i waiting for you

oh thanks mis eima for ur reply and u will be an important charcter but not yet and for every one the second chapter is added waiting for ur opinions

asalam 3alaykom mr . kyto ..

i'm really surprizeD..

.. couse i enterd the topic like eny story topic to find a very nice surprize

.. thank you bro a lote

.. to make membars in a magic storry really atractive thing

.. hounstlly i became intersetted to read the next part

.. just a little notic .. hmm what about make my nick " M .cloud " only

.. if i don't distrbute you of course

ALLAH bless you brother ..

i'll stop in this point ..

~ MissCloud ~

im not gonna forgive u for spelling and grammar
cos the story is damn brilliant
and there is something looks fishy,
what would happend to me and azuma
while i faced whom i left and they remarkably disappeared
another thing, u have to re-orgnize the story
like use small font and i prefer Tahoma and then Bold the font
cos its easy to read,, and when u want to put a conversation
use this way which i believe its more relistic and good.." that doesn't mean ur way is bad "
use like this

" i can't see, Eima are you there " - the assassin said strangly,
" Get away from here, she is just mere illusion " - Azuma replied
" Come on assassin help me " - Eima screamed painfully,

thats what i meant
- another thing, don't write shortcuts, just go to microsoft word and put F7 to see the
mistakes
keep up the good work
and the story i damn brilliant pal
i really can't wait to see what would happed next..
and btw, i'll get u a gift when this done

yes yes and then ....???
i am waiting to the third chapter
really how smart you are to get our attention
the second chapter is wooow exciting
very nice dude ^^

u have to re-orgnize the story
like use small font and i prefer Tahoma and then Bold the font

yes i agree
and brother try not to mix pictures with words
like here
the eyes http://images.msoms-anime.com/28/fe4...3e9adfe395.jpgof the judge with



so avoid this thing in order to make this fantastic topic more organized.....^^

this is my advice ^^


continue this awosem story
good luck ^^

it is realy very naice story
i am waiting the third chapter
.............................

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Azuma

u have to re-orgnize the story
like use small font and i prefer Tahoma and then Bold the font

yes i agree
and brother try not to mix pictures with words
like here
the eyes http://images.msoms-anime.com/28/fe4...3e9adfe395.jpgof the judge with



so avoid this thing in order to make this fantastic topic more organized.....^^

this is my advice ^^


continue this awosem story
good luck ^^

---

icon0
yeah she is right
try to use some photoshop work
and make a masterpiece
cos it will be a brilliant specticle
to anyone once he/she look at it..
so keep it up.. can't wait
Icon1938

Miss Cloud Thanks so much for ur reply and ok i will change the name of u to M.cloud

Assasin thanks bto for ur reply this really encourage me about the font ok i will change it to what u and azuma want

about the mode of conversation as u all wished i will put in the form he say and she said

about making photoshop to picture oh sorry i am not good in itIcon55

about grammer finally please forgive me i am not really so god at grammer so

Azuma:thanks so much for sweet reply and about not to fix pic with words ok i will not repeat it

mis.eima:thanks so much for ur sweet reply

i will try to finish third chapter tomorrow icon-cab

see you later

Hi
oooh.....

yo man where is the 3rd chapter
im on fire
neeeeehahaaahaaahaaahaa

thanks nour el islam for ur reply and assasin welcome bro i added the third chapter sorry for late i hope u will enjoy

sorry every one there is amistake in putting " "" in its right position i dont know the reason but may be coz i wrote the story on microsoft word and make copy directly

Damn .. damn man wth is that
u r a brilliant man...
i like the story.. but u still missing somethings
ur story is all conversation...
didn't u tried to make discription and something
.. like
they approached a waterfal which seems lovely and scary,
nothing around just a mockingbirds flying toward nowhere
they looked for water .. the water that will help them to
continue thier journey toward helping thier beloved sis..
.....
try to maxmize ur story.. like describe .. and fly high man
in other words
visulize things more
.... waiting to see chapter 4...
damn man... im on fire.. can't wait...

Wisper:
man the photo is freaking hot

Assasin said,“After meeting a person looks like Azuma I think to avoid in a mistake with a ghost similar to us we just need

sorry i have not comprehended this line ???

i really love it thumbsup-Icon
...what is wrong with the unreal Azuma...????
but really the story is amazing.Icon-yes0
good job....^^brother ^^

the beginning of serious events has appeared

wooow
:Dthumbsup-Iconanijhg

kyto is facing a ghost and must help his sister cloudy
Assassin is surrounded by a group of spooky dogs
and must save his group

how would the two deal with these terrifying situations
thats what i am waiting for

kyto do your best for the 4th chapter smii20

good luck ^^

he meant that
in chapter 2 .. i have met u
and u r just an illustion
now.. i said lets put some codes to know each other
once we see another illustion
no deep meaning don't u worry ^^

Assasin thanks bro for ur sweet words and i will try to improve the story and learn from my mistakes

Azuma thanks so much and abouy ur Q i think Assasin Explain

and for everyone may be i will put off the 4th chapter as i have Anatomy oral examIcon55Icon55

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة kyto kid

thanks nour el islam for ur reply and assasin welcome bro i added the third chapter sorry for late i hope u will enjoy

sorry every one there is amistake in putting " "" in its right position i dont know the reason but may be coz i wrote the story on microsoft word and make copy directly

---

icon26I Liked Story
>thanks>

when will you complete???

man where is chapter 4 ,,,

thanks nour on your sweet reply

Azuma and Assasin sorry for late i added the 4th chapter i hope you to enjoy it

i hope the problem of she said and he said not affect ur readingIcon-flowers0

Hi
The story become more exciting
I like it
oh kyto you can use Eima like in the last
chapters
...................

man, why dose the chapter lil bit shorty
.....
is that made of purpuse of something else...

^ ^.....Yo.....kyto

^ ^......My mouth is speechless
^ ^....very awesome story man......I like it a lot.....I enjoyed reading it

^ ^....Thanks a million pal

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة mis eima

Hi

The story become more exciting
I like it
oh kyto you can use Eima like in the last
chapters

...................

---

hehe late reply on your comment Eima thanks so much for reply and ok i will use it next chapter

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة the Assassin

man, why dose the chapter lil bit shorty

.....
is that made of purpuse of something else...

---

hey Assasin sorry man for the last short chapter

and this is also shortIcon108

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة black fox

^ ^.....Yo.....kyto

^ ^......My mouth is speechless
^ ^....very awesome story man......I like it a lot.....I enjoyed reading it

^ ^....Thanks a million pal

---

Hey black fox i really wanna add u in the story but coz i wrote it along time so cant change characters Icon108

Thanks for reply man and i would like to ask english team can i change Canariood with Black fox or it may affect the story

For every one the 5th chapter has been just added

hope u would like iticon31

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة kyto kid

Hey black fox i really wanna add u in the story but coz i wrote it along time so cant change characters Icon108

Thanks for reply man and i would like to ask english team can i change Canariood with Black fox or it may affect the story

---

^ ^....No....its ok
^ ^....Dont change or add no one.....the story is perfect

....Just keep going...ok

^ ^....But thanks any way.....pal

I like the parts that I got really

I didn't read it all but as I see you need some
Grammatical Support man
I was gonna help but i think it's too much for me
to handle besides I'd be provoking your Privacy
well thanks Partner =] for this rather fun
story I might return later so I can give
you some more Devastating comments XD
I'll read it all later =]

i'm back
kyto you realy have big imagination
i like the chapter

but there is a strange icon-?? thing
i have a story with a ghost in the past

when i was in primary school
i was absent one day
and when i went in the next day
all my frind were angryIcon-War thay asked me (why did't you ansawer us yesterday ) i told them that i was absent
thay said that thay
saw me in the last day in the morning and thay call me but i did't
answer then i disappeared . then thay saw me in end of school and thay call my again but i laugh in strang way and i disappeared again
i was shockedIcon02Icon45 i keep telling them that i was absent and thay don''t Believe me .then thay aske my mother about it she taold them
that i was absent after that some of theme beigan to cray
(Icon039 i am the one who shoud cray coz i was Scared)
coz thay think that thay saw my ghost
then it become a story in my school and i still don't know
what happenedicon101

you Remember my with all that
i waiting for the 6th chapter




-------------------

تسلم اناملك على المجهود الرائع

وبصراحة ماني اعبر لك عن شكري بالانجيلزي

لاني ماعرف.....

تقبل تحياتي

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة black fox

^ ^....No....its ok
^ ^....Dont change or add no one.....the story is perfect

....Just keep going...ok

^ ^....But thanks any way.....pal

---

thanks black you r welcome any way icon30

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Gentle Fist

I like the parts that I got really

I didn't read it all but as I see you need some
Grammatical Support man
I was gonna help but i think it's too much for me
to handle besides I'd be provoking your Privacy
well thanks Partner =] for this rather fun
story I might return later so I can give
you some more Devastating comments XD
I'll read it all later =]

---

hey Gentle fist you r right there r many mistakes in grammer but coz i wrote it for fun so i didnot focus in grammer and thanks man for sweet replyicon30

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة mis eima

BrB


-------------------

---

hi Eima waiting for u Icon98e

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة اخت فواز

تسلم اناملك على المجهود الرائع

وبصراحة ماني اعبر لك عن شكري بالانجيلزي

لاني ماعرف.....

تقبل تحياتي

---

thanks اخت فواز for ur sweet reply

modified
....................................

as i thought
very fantastic
the way you mentioned events is really fantastic
,............................................
i like when you made something cut my thoughts
as i really read a real novel
very good step of you
as a creater writer ^^


complete
good luck

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة mis eima

i'm back

kyto you realy have big imagination
i like the chapter

but there is a strange icon-?? thing
i have a story with a ghost in the past

when i was in primary school
i was absent one day
and when i went in the next day
all my frind were angryIcon-War thay asked me (why did't you ansawer us yesterday ) i told them that i was absent
thay said that thay
saw me in the last day in the morning and thay call me but i did't
answer then i disappeared . then thay saw me in end of school and thay call my again but i laugh in strang way and i disappeared again
i was shockedIcon02Icon45 i keep telling them that i was absent and thay don''t Believe me .then thay aske my mother about it she taold them
that i was absent after that some of theme beigan to cray
(Icon039 i am the one who shoud cray coz i was Scared)
coz thay think that thay saw my ghost
then it become a story in my school and i still don't know
what happenedicon101

you Remember my with all that
i waiting for the 6th chapter

-------------------

---

Thanks Eima for that sweet reply but really there are many things in our world happen to us have no explaination and My story u read is really happened to me but i make alot of change in itIcon08

اقتباس:

---

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Azuma

as i thought
very fantastic
the way you mentioned events is really fantastic
,............................................
i like when you made something cut my thoughts
as i really read a real novel
very good step of you
as a creater writer ^^


complete
good luck

---

welcome back Azuma and thanks for ur words this make me feel shyIcon08

Kyto ... i hope that you did not forget our story ^^
i am waiting to the next chapter

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Azuma

Kyto ... i hope that you did not forget our story ^^
i am waiting to the next chapter

---

oh sorry really Azuma i have exams but i promise i will finish it quickly and ofcourse i didnot forget
for give me icon145

oh sorry ^^
i really did not know that you have exams
sorry again
good luck ^^

اقتباس:

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المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Azuma

oh sorry ^^
i really did not know that you have exams
sorry again
good luck ^^

---

thanks Azuma i just finished and added the the chapter i hope every one to enjoy itIcon-flowers0