lets see my comment on your story

it was impressive that u dont have any grammatic or spelling mistakes and this really surprised me

you use simple english words for every one to understand and at the same time you make a wonderful story

you make the story as a memory and you acheived it in using past simple in grammer

u used in the memory the charectristic of flash back as telling us past events during telling us the certain story and really i loved this way

the idea of the story and the benefit from it was really great

as amedical student i really like using may with death as there is no certain of it and you have done it well

return to the this part of story
this night I had given some money to one of the gang members to buy us some drugs. On his way back to the car a terrible accident had happened: a car came out from middle of nowhere and hit him. We put him into the car and we were about to take him to the hospital but he said “stop the car I want to tell you something” so the car had stopped. Then he said “we had been doing bad things for many years, it is time to stop and return to our God and ask God for forgiveness” then he breathed his last breathe.

i think u quote this part of story from egyptian movie 0

but really may be it just similar but please dont think that it is accusation coz there is no shame if u have done quote in small part of story coz really i love this story so much and words cant tell you my great thanks to u

i hope u like my comment

oh really i reapeat my reaquest to put it in english forume

and could u read my stroy in english forume and tell me you opinion about it

it is bad in grammer and
spelling but i hope you will enjoy it

GHOST ISLAND

AND WOULD U LIKE TO JOIN US IN ENGLISH TEAM OR IMPROVING ENGLISH FORUME BY YOUR OPINION AND HERE IS THE LINK
http://www.msoms-anime.net/showthread.php?t=74160