so I was accepted to the university of khartoum
I'm going to study medicine

hmm

kinda cool huh? or maybe...I don't know
it's great to be able to help people
it's really great being a docor
right?

why am i not happy like everyone else is? I wonder
I'm happy but not enough
maybe bcuz it was my parents who decided this?
or maybe it's bcuz i might have wanted to study somethin else? hmm

I think it's because my parents used to tell me since i was a little girl that i'll be a doctor
I've never thought of what I want to be
or maybe I thought but couldn't put these thoughts together

I'm really worried

sometimes I think that
I don't know myself anymore

well
dear msoms you are really a big help in some way

here
I can find something that I like
that I want
...
even though everybody else thinks it's stupid

...
I've changed

maybe it's growing up^_^

well I hate it
...
sometimes i hold to my opinions that I think of myself trying to cover up for the times that I didn't make my decisions

it makes me look like a coward
yeah
>_<


I wrote a lot
thank you Diary for "listening" me