السلام عليكم ورجمة الله وبركاته

As I said before, I was going to write my whole
comment on the first two parts of this story.
But as a matter of fact, I was hoping to see the third part
of this story when I get back.
Oh well... This way I won't get lazy from writing my promised comment

Let's start...

First.. Part #1

The beginnig was kinda interesting; You began by discribing the heroes
of the story. Actually, I liked the names that you chose.
They reminded me of something. :P
However, the dicription of them was short. It would've been better if you discribed the characters and added more details such as: their perosonallity, intrests... etc
Or maybe you were clearifying in the next parts
I hope to know more about them in the next parts.

After that they were enjoying their time in the garden looking at an ancient building and its columns. It was really huge and full of glory. In the middle of the building and particularly at the centre of a square area there was a beautiful artistic sculpture which has attracted Kyo and his family. They gathered around it and Dr. Peter started talking about it; its history and by who it was made. Moreover, he analysed each part of it so all the attention was on the sculpture. At that very moment Dr. Peter has accomplished his mission.
I liked this part. I felt as if I were in the ancient building
The words you used were very convinient. They dicribed the ruins clearly

that was the last words they heard from Dr. Peter before they fall down in a deep dark hole
This sentence was the best one in this part.
It attracted me alot.
Because it was the last one, I've been eager to know the
rest of the story (But I was lucky because I read t
)he next part in the same time

Now.. Let's move to part #2

It was very dark surrounding; Kyo couldn’t see anything around him even his hand he couldn’t see it. He started calling his sister, then his father and mother but there was no answer. His heart started pounding quickly; he didn’t know what this feeling was about but all he could do is walking and continuing calling his family. The place was still getting darker and darker until a source of light has appeared so he started running towards it.
The source of light was still too far away, Kyo didn’t know how far it is but still he didn’t give up. As he was running, the ground suddenly has broken so he started falling down, but then there was a huge hand that has captured him. That hand belongs to a very huge strange body which looks more like a giant human. Kyo couldn’t see anything except a frame of shadow of that huge body. Then he heard a voice calling him.
:baffled5wh:Spooky

That's great. I really liked that. Good work
- “But they won’t go easy on you! They consider you as a betrayal!!”


I have a little comment about this sentense

There's something strange in it.
I think the word "betrayal" should've been "traitor"
Because the betrayal is the act itself, and traitor is the one who do so
So "traitor" would be more appropriate in my opinion

You began to get deeper in the story
The more I advanced in reading, the more questions came to my mind
A new character appeared in this part, Dr Brain
I think he hides many things. What did he do to get expelled
?!Is he really that bad

:eek4wd:The character of Dr Akai is starting to get clearer and more mysterious
at the same time. That's a good point

That's all I have for now
I am looking forward to reading your next part
Maybe things will be less mysterious
Hope My comment was as you expected

And keep up the good work