HII Dragonier
sorry for the late reply

comment on the first two parts of this story.
But as a matter of fact, I was hoping to see the third part
of this story when I get back.

I'm really sorry for not posting the third part…it is almost finished
Inshallah I'll post it within two days.
Oh well... This way I won't get lazy from writing my promised comment
Thank you ^^
The beginnig was kinda interesting; You began by discribing the heroes
of the story. Actually, I liked the names that you chose.
They reminded me of something. :P
Thanx, oh u liked the names really! Lool, I wonder what they reminded u of

However, the dicription of them was short. It would've been better if you discribed the characters and added more details such as: their perosonallity, intrests... etc
Or maybe you were clearifying in the next parts
I hope to know more about them in the next parts
Mmm actually, I wrote my story in beginning as a summary, and then I was dragged to write more details. I realized that I should have described the characters more especially how do the looks like, but then I thought these descriptions would be revealed as the story goes on. So I think describing the characters directly is not the only way.
This sentence was the best one in this part.
It attracted me alot.
Because it was the last one, I've been eager to know the
rest of the story (But I was lucky because I read t
)he next part in the same time
I'm happy to hear that.
I have a little comment about this sentense

There's something strange in it.
I think the word "betrayal" should've been "traitor"
Because the betrayal is the act itself, and traitor is the one who do so
So "traitor" would be more appropriate in my opinion
Thank u and I agree with u ^^
You began to get deeper in the story
The more I advanced in reading, the more questions came to my mind
A new character appeared in this part, Dr Brain
I think he hides many things. What did he do to get expelled
?!Is he really that bad

The character of Dr Akai is starting to get clearer and more mysterious
at the same time. That's a good point

That's all I have for now
I am looking forward to reading your next part
Maybe things will be less mysterious
Hope My comment was as you expected

And keep up the good work
From the bottom of my heart, I really thank you
I'm really happy to see how u saw the characters, ur wonders
And ur thoughts, u'll know more about dr.Brain and Dr.Akai in the coming parts.
I doubt that the next part will be less mysterious, but of course u'll know more
Ur comments was more than I expected, I'm glad to read it
Thank sooo much and I hope to read ur comments in the coming parts
JA NEE