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A Black Dot in the Ocean
I'm the source of evilness…I'm the source of purification.
I light their way…I deepen the darkness within.I am the usher to hell…in my heart lies signs that leads to Heaven.I transformed into an angel…I continue my struggle to live.I was born in Eden…I only have memories when I came on earth.My eyes are capable to see the invisible…I can barely see everything.My tear in the eyes of humans is like water that plants the ground where it drops…my tear in my eyes is like blood that stains the ground where it falls.My foot walks on a road filled with roses…my other foot tramples on dead bodies.My presence raises their ravenous appetite for a sacrifice…My existence alone builds a generation…I live insulated in a world filled with devils…devils with pure hearts…Inside the forbidden house for priestess…locked in a room painted with darkness on each of its walls.The surrounding corners were dominated with sounds of grief and sadness…Voices of the dead…heard only by those who bear the same fateThe fate of a black dot…He came.In a moonless night, outside the holy house, I waited for my destiny to arrive.However, he reached me before it…“They said if you don’t want, they won’t force you to do it!” he claimed.And continued on, “Speak! Tell them what your heart desires!”…“But my heart doesn’t belong to me…” I proclaimed.“What are you saying?” he questioned.“This isn’t the time for this. Don’t you want to do what you like?”“Not all what I want is the right thing to do!” I replied.“What do you mean? Haven’t you asked for help couple of minutes ago?All you have to do is either cry or speak.”“I am the Chosen!I can have what I need without the need to ask for it…I can’t cry. I can’t shed tears over worldly pleasures.I can’t speak. My words are unheard by merely human beings.”“Are you serious?Yesterday, you were dying to live and today, you’re throwing your life.That’s strange…Have they bought your mind?”“The Chosen has nothing to fear of…I have nothing to lose.”“Is this you? Or have you given yourself to the imaginary holy creature they’re talking about?”“The real me has died…I no longer exist…My words...words when I was a human being, meaningless words…”“Are you throwing away your life?Do you wish to continue on living as the Chosen?”Words didn’t come…What I wished for was a life.The one who gave it to me, is now asking for it…It became so precious that I refused to give it back…not by the hands of creatures.My life…I don’t want to give it to anyone…
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In order to be happy…choosing to exchange someone’s life?…
My life…
A priceless life I refused to give up…
But it was too late to figure out how intensely I needed it once it was sold.
The unknown has invaded the known…again…
In a moonless night, on a land not so far from the ocean, children assembled first.
I was still a child as small and innocent as any of them.
The night waspitchblack. We could barely see anything.
Although fear should’ve sat on most of us, yet we seemed calm waiting for her,
The Chosen…
We believed strongly in the depth of our hearts about the thoughts written in the Holy Book.
“The Chosen will light the way to Heaven.”
We wanted to see Heaven…
“She will shine so brightly upon each and every soul trapped in this life.”
My soul wanted to be shone…
“She’ll purify us...
The Sinners…”
“I am a sinner”. I was born in this life.
And I wished to be purified…
toue rei zue kura ryou toue zue
kuroa ryou zue toue ryou rei neu ryou zue
va rei zue toue neu toue ryou toue kuroa
ryou rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va zue rei
va neu va rei va neu va zue rei
kuroa ryuo kuroa neu toue rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va
rei va neu kuroa toue rei rei
We sang...the place filled with the holy voices of little angels.
Calming the Chosen on her way to Heaven…
The men shoved their way into the first row.
Women followed up later taking place between us and their relatives.
Not very far, we saw a vision of some people coming toward us.
We knew the Chosen was among them and so sang again.
The ritual began.
The Chosen disengaged herself from the crowd of men and came forward.
Her eyes were blindfold, wearing clothes as whitish as the light.
She began walking slowly…so slow that one of her foot was resisting from advancing forward
and the other refused to race its twin.
It was pointless for Chosen to walk so quickly on that road.
The one to lead the way was a man bound with a black thread on his wrist connected to the Chosen.
The ones to protect her were two men each of her sides.
The one to prevent the approach of evilness was a man right behind her.
The one to remind her of her role as a Chosen was a man in front of her holding the holy book.
My eyes admired the scene.
Her last part of the last ceremony to end our suffering and purify the whole town will end soon.
She passed beside us. With her glossy brown hair, she looked perfectly just like a Chosen.
A little away from the cliff, they held her for a moment to deliver the speech…
A tuneless chant could be heard…
“Here, we’re standing in this _____ area…”
I could no more remember what was said that time. For a child, it was a new vocabulary for me that I actually had no interest to look into its meaning.
“We’re standing in this _____ area, this _____ ocean, this _____ day, to present you the greatest of us all, Vergina, our beloved daughter, as a _____ for you, Lord _____.”
He continued on…
“We have touched her not, nor did we drink her _____, for she is to become yours and yours only.
For this, we ask of you to forgive us and leave us not to starve.
Bestow your blessing upon us and our children and to become obedient only to you.
May the darkness of the sinners be purified by her light!”
Darkness?...
I believed in his words.
She’ll purify us all and save us from the darkness that lied deep within the hearts of the so called sinner…
With the absence of the moon, her light replaced our need for the light to see.
With one push, she fell so smoothly into the ocean.
So amazingly she flew in the air.
A splash of water could be heard and then only dead silence filled the place.
Children remained there waiting for the commotion while the adults went home.
I still remember those words. The letters of which goes under the definition of ‘Unforgettable words’
“A white bird will fly freely through the gargantuan sky. That’s when your wishes will be carried away with her wings to god.”
That line hasn’t granted yet. I wanted to see the Chosen as a bird…I wanted my wish to be granted.
The second became a minute and the minute became an hour.
We were motivated by curiosity to see…
We waited for Godot to come and he came…
The white bird came out of the ocean and flew high into the black sky.
It beamed a soft light that shone under the darkness.
She purified us…
“I want to become a Chosen!”
My wish was granted…
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Is it possible for someone to change his fate?
The weakness of human’s mind, incapable of inventing a time machine.
Regret…
What did I gain?
My life has changed since that incident.
I’ve been selected among all that existed as the Chosen. One that will bring forth god’s light upon all the created things. Only to those who believed in me…
“I’ve descended from above, within me laid the duty to purify.
I’ll revive the light that was stained with the darkness of the sinners.”
Those holy words were sufficient to wash all that which mingled in my veins the moment I was born.
No longer a sinner…
“Soon, soon enough and the curtains will open only to introduce me to the world.
Soon, I’ll have an end worth of remembrance…”
An end?
The Chief came.
“Tomorrow as planned. Gather them on the town hall. The Messenger is off to get the message.
We mustn’t cause any problem. The Chosen is among one of those angels.
She mustn’t be harmed from the darkness.” He proclaimed.
“Everything is set as destined. Pay no worries.” He replied.
We were on the exposition to recognize our purpose of existence.
I was the only one who existed…
On walking on the road, everything was decided.
I, with other little angels, walked around the town.
We were told to take a tour then immediately come back home.
Other than us, the roads were empty except a bunch of men gathered up the cliff.
The judge and his lawyers gazed at us one by one as we passed beside.
The judgment befell upon us like thunder.
“You, my little angel, is the next Chosen!”
The judge exclaimed pointing his finger at me.
“I am the Chosen?”
“I, the Chosen, by standing on any piece of land can make it shine richly green.
My presence can send enough strength needed to refresh that which were by the hands of god.
The palm of my hands transmits the little bounds of my heart into the small bodies of those weak creatures.
This body of mine omits the light that which can have no replacement even compared to the shinning moon.
I am the Chosen whom can save and devour all into eternal darkness.
Step me forward to my one and only Lord…”
toue rei zue kura ryou toue zue
kuroa ryou zue toue ryou rei neu ryou zue
There I stood under the shades of trees around me. They were me and I was them…
We were connected through the shades.
They formed a magnificent web which consoled me. I was protected from the outer world.
Savor and her companions…together forever till the ritual ended.
Transforming was once said to be painful. I found no harm caused to me or to the other me who was beneath the crust to be reborn as a new plant…
va rei zue toue neu toue ryou toue kuroa
ryou rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va zue rei
va neu va rei va neu va zue rei
Smooth breeze blew, pedals fell down, and the earth witnessed the birth of happiness.
The road I walked on was filled with roses competing to be stepped over by me. Nature was celebrating the wise chosen of the one destined to fill the world with peace.
I was the only person who’ll purify all that which whispered “I want to live.”
But I was the one who needed to live…
kuroa ryuo kuroa neu toue rei kuroa ryuo zue rei va
rei va neu kuroa toue rei rei
Time passed by and five days were cut half into 2 days and 12 hours.
I had so little time to prepare physically, in which I had no hands to fasten the matter, and more importantly mentally…
The thoughts of living as a newly divine creature, I was so happy that it hurt not to be for the rest of my life…thoughts of not wanting to give up what could never be experienced again once it end.
The world…my world seemed to be blooming.
my world…in its golden age.
My world was sharing my fate, the fate of the Chosen.
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“I can feel all the thoughts so strong in the depth of my heart…A question I asked over and over, wanting to tell you
Won’t you make my wish?You, who was born in this world to spend eternity in this lonely ocean of darkness.You’ll be sleeping in the night that doesn’t end.Peacefully and quietly where no one can disturb you as you purify the world…”
“You are the one who they call ‘The Chosen’, am I right?”On that ominous night, a man paid me a visit, an unknown creature…“And who might you be?”“One who exists to save you, the Chosen, who have been engulfed in darkness…”“Is it I your mentioning?”“Aren’t you the only one who is in alienation?Here! where light is forbidden to shine.”“I don’t need a materialistic light. My life is brightened by the light of my heart!”“I can barely see this light.”“You human beings only believe what you se-…”“-Aren’t you the same as we are? A human being?”“You believe what you see!”“Heh, what I heard was a disbeliever as a child, now, the teenage became a believer?”“A child-…”Stoutly said : “The heart of a believer doesn’t follow what others believe, but rather what his heart believes in!”
Hearing that, I felt a tight sensation in my heart.Why is it that it bothers me?I am a true believer…I didn’t follow what they believe in…no…I was a disbeliever…now I’m just a follower of what they believe in…Am I not a true believer?
That night, I was allowed to take a quick glance at the view of the world I’ll soon save…The moon was high and clear among all the starts that glittered.Only dead silent engulfed the place.The small cottages and houses were all gray…I got distracted over what that strange old man has said…I must prove to myself that when I followed the others in what they believe in was only what my heart strongly needed to believe…I disengaged myself from the guardians and flowed freely to where the ocean lied…where all the Chosen were thrown…from above.
I went and saw…things I shouldn’t see…
And the prohibited words I spoke…”a lie?”
I fell into my crises. I fell on the ground and never rose again…They found me unconscious…and I remained like this for days…
“The view I see now is the same as yesterdayThe street I walk on is still the sameBut my whole world has changedI definitely can’t smile like that againWho I was up until yesterday, will never show up again…”And again that unknown creature came…“It seems to me that the Chosen has seen what she was blind of to witness.I’m not expecting an answer though. I’m just relieved to see that you can still stand on your feet.”I couldn’t speak…my other self carried a heavy burden that made my body freeze.However, in front of him, my tongue moved.“My heart hurts…”“This is the sign of being a human being.”“I wonder where does this pain come from.Should I go to the direction where the pain is coming? I’m afraid.I know not what prevents me from going, but this heart of mine beats so fast whenever I took a step toward that direction. What happened to me?I was so strong and brave, yet now I’m this week to take even one step?...”“You are a human being after all.”“I’m afraid from that weakness…I’m afraid of going there or getting near from it.Tell me, you who might hold the answer, what should I do?Am I to stay like this forever? Trapped in between being the Chosen or simply a human being…For what did I live for all these years?What is my duty? Or rather what is my real purpose?For whose sake am I living for?What’s going to happen to me? Am I to bear this forever?This which seems endless…Speak, you who might save me from the nothingness I became…If I were neither to become the Chosen nor to have been a human being, then what am I?I lived and breathed the whole time for what?...Why am I here? Where am I supposed to be?”“Any human being, in order to make life shine, is prepared to have an ending with death.This cell you’re living in is more like your own heart, the heart of each and every Chosen that had lived here, as black as pitch with the thick darkness. This dark view hides the mysterious truth of the years.In the darkness of the pitch black world drawn with sins, one’s self desires for a moment to taste the beauty of the spiritual side, which will get you back from the unconscious world to the conscious one.Go there!Where the pain is coming from, there is something real!Your questions will be answered with truth. Extend your sight at all directions; your questions will be answered for sure.Dying solves nothing!!”
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“I’m scaredAfraid that I’m not humanAfraid that I’m different from all other peopleAfraid from the things I don’t knowAnd the things I do knowAnd yet, above everything else…I am most terrified of my own existence…”
“Mother, I’m afraid the Chosen has got in touch with darkness while we were absent. She is to stay here in this little cottage until the destined hour. She is to stop going outside for a while and neither visitors nor family are allowed to see her for the time being”“For the sake of the Chosen and this world, I’ll endure it till the end.”Mother became a doll, which only listens to its master’s commands.“What is to become of me?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore…No matter how hard I try to move forward, I am held by the sin I committed.They wouldn’t be like that if I were not to complain about their believes.I don’t have a future to look forward and live.My future is different with this thing I’m carrying on…What is it that I’m carrying?Darkness?But the Chosen is supposed to be a shell against any darkness.Was that also a lie?Also??Was there before it another lie?All of these are lies…They keep on feeding my mind with lies. And I believed them…All these years, I’ve been living under a lie.My dreams…my ideals…faded to nothing?My heart had been confused ever since the first time I saw that incident.The bird…the light…the ocean…all of these were lies.”
I went and saw…things I shouldn’t see…I saw the whole crime…Preparations? They were preparing for the ritual.The ocean that was supposed to shine when the Chosen comes near, was only light bulbs hidden beneath so it can perfume a perfect light shone from deep within the ocean.The light that I was supposed to omit was also fake.The bird…I saw it…our eyes met.Wasn’t it I who should turn into a bird and fly to lord?Wasn’t it the Chosen?And the cave? The tombs? The black threads?I’ve seen the day light…
“I wonder why…Tears won’t come. Maybe I’m heartless.It hurts here, inside my chest as if my other self, whose supposed to be the Chosen, was a real self.She won’t feel pain if she died…so I don’t feel pain anymore either.Everything will be just like a dream. Yes, just a dream…”
I’ve been living a lie. There’s nothing inside…
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“Don’t chase after what makes you cry,try hard by yourself with what is left.”Nothing was left to try hard with…
No more tears knew on my cheeks a way.With so many visits, they got bored and left.The road I was walking on was filled with needles…No, it wasn’t put to harm me. But to awaken the soul which I carried the moment I was born.They couldn’t prevent me from walking for I to bear such a harsh fate.The Chosen was to fear not that which harms human beings…but that which harms her companions.“I never wished that”…never have I wished for myself such a dream.Not the dream that I longed for…“A nightmare…”which kept threatening me to pledge my allegiance to it.I have shattered into pieces and no one seemed to have the power to collect them.“Broken beyond repair”…my soul.No more could I bear this pain while having them watch over me bleeding.“Waiting for the end”…yes, they were waiting for my end.The end of the black dot whose fault was of being born, spreading darkness upon all that existed.
“You’re not alone!All the people, bearing heavy burdens, search for tomorrow.You need not search for someone to collect that which belongs to you.You, alone, can collect your own pieces of yourself…”
Without me…”the world will be filled with darkness.”Without my light…”people will live in pitch darkness.”Without this necessary sacrifice…”darkness will bestow its eternal suffering upon us all.”
“There is no darkness in a place where the sun shines.There is no spot in which darkness can posses for eternal.There is no replacement for the light of the sun at day time and the moon at night.Your eyes reflect a beautiful sun, that’s the only thing you among all own.”
“I have the blood of theChosen flowing in me. I was born to save the world.I was born…to be a sacrifice.Because I was the Chosen, I was always alone.Because I was known as the Chosen, I wasn’t a human being.”
“Everyone wants to save the world. That which flows within you is the same blood as each and every human being posses.It’s true that you lived a lonely life, but it wasn’t because you were the Chosen.You didn’t have the strength to approach anyone because you would die as the Chosen and with ties, the mission will be even harder to be accomplished.It’s because you were the Chosen that I was able to meet you. I’m glad that you are the Chosen.Live as the Chosen and save the world, but remember that there is another way to life other than to wait for death!As long as God exists, there is a hope of being saved…of continue on living!”
“Why is it that I’m being stalked by this voice?This voice…this gentle voice changed everything around me.I am now in a place which cannot be seen, but my soul has seen it…This voice aches my heart. Anything was better than this agony.Anything was more tolerable than this confusion.
My heart had been confused ever since that incident when I saw the cave.My fears had been ever since growing upon me. I’m trying to comfort myself with many suppositions, but I found all in vain.I want it now…I want it…desperately…my life!”
“Where the pain is coming, there is something real!”“In the direction where the pain is coming from…This sensation…is it my other self’s feelings?Lonely and sad?!”
He came.In a moonless night, outside the holy house, I waited for my destiny to arrive.However, he reached me before it…“They said if you don’t want, they won’t force you to do it!” he claimed.And continued on, “Speak! Tell them what your heart desires!”…“But my heart doesn’t belong to me…” I proclaimed.“What are you saying?” he questioned.“This isn’t the time for this. Don’t you want to do what you like?”“Not all what I want is the right thing to do!” I replied.“What do you mean? Haven’t you asked for help couple of minutes ago?All you have to do is either cry or speak.”“I am the Chosen!I can have what I need without the need to ask for it…I can’t cry. I can’t shed tears over worldly pleasures.I can’t speak. My words are unheard by merely human beings.”“Are you serious?Yesterday, you were dying to live and today, you’re throwing your life.That’s strange…Have they bought your mind?”“The Chosen has nothing to fear of…I have nothing to lose.”“Is this you? Or have you given yourself to the imaginary holy creature they’re talking about?”“The real me has died…I no longer exist…My words...words when I was a human being, meaningless words…”“Are you throwing away your life?Do you wish to continue on living as the Chosen?”Words didn’t come…What I wished for was a life.The one who gave it to me, is now asking for it…It became so precious that I refused to give it back…not by the hands of creatures.
“What am I supposed to do?Is there a way to get me back being a human being?”“Live! That’s the only way you can show others and yourself that you’re a human being.”“And this, which I carry? What am I supposed to do with it?”“You must not kill that which is alive.”“Can I live, with two souls?”“Merge them!”Tears formed in my eyes. I sniffed and wiped my eyes, trying to appear strong beforethis old man, but the words he said was much stronger to rebel against them…“I wonder why…Why are you trying to save me?”He let a loose smile and said genuinely“Because you’re trying to change things for better and because you look like my passed away daughter..”“That makes you as my father.”It was a long silence we spend looking at each other. Our throat felt tight and words couldn’t be formed.To him only I felt that I could be myself…“Tell me, is a father supposed to be like that?”He looked at me with a sad eyes and whispered:“If only you didn’t become the Chosen, you could live more freely.If there were no such thing as the Chosen, they might accept their fate and live peacefully till the end.The Chosen can’t save anyone. She’s hurting others and getting hurt herself.”
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The light of the Chosen residing inside me was like a needle that thrust through my chest.I felt like a peculiar kind of pain entered my body and creeped around my heart.I succumbed to the pain as it twisted the needle in my heart a little more and drained any ounce of hope I had left of surviving…“Surviving? Continue on living?…Hope?I feel like I’m living without hope.Where can I find this hope?Have you lost yours too?What is it to be done now?Is it possible to make another hope? Can we live without it?Can we borrow it from someone? Would they give us?We, who wondered around searching for the meaning of our existence…”
“It hurts. Regardless of how many times I tried looking around for someone, no one was found in my sight.I’m in agony… is there no one who share the same pain?I can’t do anything. I’m powerless.Time is running out. Tomorrow my story will end.I feel jaded. The weight of the burden is killing me slowly…slowly.”
“It’s getting late.”Even though I’m trapped in this cottage, I knew night was coming.The day slowly ended.I was slowly heading to my end…my death.I wasn’t afraid of it, but now fear was eating my very soul.Stuck in here all alone…I wasn’t hoping to be saved.The thought of sharing the same happiness human beings had, never crossed my mind.Once truth was declared and that old man fed my heart with even more confusion, it haunted me day and night.“I want this real happiness!I want to live!”
I heard sounds of footsteps outside the cottage.The door opened with an intimidating creak.A single dim ray shot from outside the cottage fell upon my dark eyes.Yes, my eyes had grown darker each day I spend locked away in this haunted cottage.I was stained black. Darkness enveloped light and controlled over everything that was beside me.I was no different from those things…I kept my eyes shut as tight as I could and only listened.The sound of their footsteps became more clearer.“Prepare her well, mother!” the judge spoke.I knew his sound pitch and could distinguish his voice among million ones.Yes, the voice of the man who set my destiny on stone…“Tonight we will purge the girl.”
Someone came so close to me and whispered: “Dear, stand up so I could change your clothes.You’re going to meet your Lord today at night. I’m so proud of you.You defeated the darkness which distracted you!”My mother…her kind voice and gentle hands batting my shoulders send me back to the nostalgic days. The sealed past started to stir in my chest, where I used to run around the house with laugh until she gets the breakfast done.When I stripped, she came crying out loud “Are you alright?” and threw her arms around me…When she encouraged me to walk forward toward grasping my dreams…I turned into her warm embrace and was on the verge of tears.“Dear, I know it was hard for you to bear such difficult situations. But worry not, for everything will end today. Stay strong till night. It’ll descend soon…very soon.”Mother’s encouraging tone made the matter even worse.“I feel enervated…I don’t have enough strength to carry on this horribleness…” I said with a low voice in which only she could hear.
Mother didn’t reply until she was sure enough that only my presence and hers existed inside the cottage.“You can relax now. Your Lord is waiting for you. Weren’t you eager to meet him?”“I am, but why should I sacrifice myself?”“You’re not sacrificing your life. Fulfilling your duty it is as the Chosen…endowing your life to your one and only Lord!Beside, you’re alive now, isn’t this enough?”“No, it isn’t enough at all.”“My dear, your words are like swords stabbing the Lord…”“These aren’t my words. My own words have died since I became the Chosen.These are the words of a human being trapped inside the body of an Angel…”“Enough! What happened to the daughter I rose? The one who wished to be the Chosen!”“I’m no more your daughter. I am the Chosen now!”“And I’m glad and honored to see my own child becoming the Chosen who will save this world.”“I’m not glad at all. I want to return being a human being just like you.I want myself back!”“He was right! Darkness approached you. You’re now stained with darkness.Look at yourself. Since when has your smile fade this much?”“Since the day truth revealed itself!”“Your sadness…is it from becoming the Chosen?”
“It’s because of not being able to hold dear that which belongs to me…”“It’s true that you had to sacrifice a lot for the sake of transforming into the Chosen, but you see, my dear, you don’t have to try hard anymore. You have already become the Chosen!There’s no need to feel sad over what has gone. Don’t chase after what makes you cry,try hard by yourself with what is left.”Nothing was left to try hard with…
I was dressed with a white dress, as whitish as the pure light.And they blinded me so that earthly pleasure could never reach to me…Sitting on my knees, I heard again sound of footsteps, the door has opened and suddenly…A familiar sound… “Have you talked with them?”A voice which eased my suffering and lightened my heavy heart.“I see you’ve spent some time with your mother. Anything changed?”“The whole country is after my death, my parents are no different…”“What do you want to do? Go against it or with it?”“Can we do it? against them?”“We can!”“I can’t…”
“You can!You are the source of hope!”“Hope?”“To purify the world is what they all want from you in exchange of your life.With your death, they gain strength to continue on living!With your life, they gain the hope to live!Having you, they can feel they’re alive!If you died, no one will be troubled. Actually, they would enjoy your death. They never thought of this ritual as killing someone innocent. With your agreement it sounded different, but to me it’s all the same.What is the worth of this world if we were to kill those who are said to be known as the Chosen?If we were to kill them, what will be saved in this world?Is the world supposed to be worth more than them?What is the worth of this world, when it will not allow you, who made no sin, to live in it?If I were to go against this world or save you, I’d choose to save you to the end!Even at the cost of my life!!”
Silence filled the place. I couldn’t hold my tears…“Strange…People out there were happy when I chose death over being alive.And now a man who I met before couple of days, hurts himself and may commit, what’s called as crime here, in his bid just to save me…”We both remained silent for a moment. Even with my eyes blind, I could hear his heavy breathe…“What do I need to do?”“I have a plan. You need to escape and run to a save place.”“If everyone in the country wants to kill meHow far do I have to run away to be safe?Are there any places that are safe?”“If there isn’t any, then make one!”“How foolish I am…I’ve desperately searched for a place where I can live peacefully.The Chosen who never believed in materialistic things, was herself at heart searching for a materialistic place to live in. Peace was never been a thing to touch.”He untied the fold on my eyes and got down on the ground in front of me.“Listen carefully to what I’ll say. We need to get you out of here as soon as we can!”
“I wonder how much longer this road will continue on for?I wish I can stop time…I’m waiting for a miracle to happen.I long for that hand…that patted me on the back.The hand of a father…who used to rub my head.The hand that taught me how to draw dreams.The hand that soothed me all this time.I want to hold it tightly…”
The ocean, so clean and quite.I’ve always looked at it from above, but never experienced touching not even sailing on it.It looked so dazzling.I, and some unknown people, on a calm night prepared a boat and were ready to sail on the ocean back to the city where that old man lived…his hometown.They gave me a black dress to wear and a black blanket to cover on it.We promised to meet on this land before taking off, but he didn’t show up.Never did I felt that scared from death before. My feet held strongly on the ground, resisting from advancing.It felt as if the shadow of death reached its hands on my feet and grabbed it tightly preventing me from escaping.The spirits of each and every dead Chosen, disposed of in the cave, still suffer.The souls immersed in the ocean, still suffer…I haven’t done anything for them. I shouldn’t escape from this land and leave things unsettled…If the town people knew about that, they would get furious and might never live their normal life as they used to do.However, I wanted to live!The Thoughts of having many wonderful times just by being alive made me want to live…They were my hope!Everyone will begrudge me…Having expectations of being saved then being betrayed…“I can’t save them. The Chosen can’t save anyone.The Chosen was only an illusion born from darkness…I’m going to be fine. I can live by myself!”
The moment I put my foot on the boat, I felt relieved. I used to think that it was impossible to find a safe place, yet the small boat sheltered us. It welcomed me with open arms even though I was the Chosen, who’s supposed to be an abomination that will bring disaster to this world if I were to live longer than what I was allowed to be…The preparation was over. We waited for his arrival…however, he didn’t show up.Back then when we were inside the cottage, he told me that he’d disguise as the Chosen and will reveal himself when the right time hits.I wondered what took him so long.The ritual was about to begin. We heard strange sounds and decided to leave in case things went out of the old man’s hand.We sailed away from the land.Watching and remaining silent were what I’ve done all the time. I couldn’t prevent them from leaving him, nor did I reject on going without him. I was afraid from stalling. I didn’t want the town people to see me. I didn’t want them to devastate my happiness… I didn’t wish to be a sacrifice…didn’t want to be the Chosen…didn’t want to die…I saw a light shone on top of the cliff and lights deep within the ocean just beneath the cliff.I kept watching the land as it shrank and got smaller and smaller…to the extent that it looked so much like a black dot…a black dot in the ocean…I gazed at it until it disappeared through darkness, not because it’s be the last time I’ll watch it; rather it’ll be my very beginning…the beginning of my second story.
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This is the fourth story I wrote.
Please feel free to comment and criticize.
I do really like to read your point of view on how the story is and what to do to improve it.
